I just got back from a month long vacation back home (in the US). I had been here for two years before going home for the first time. I had a great time, but towards the end of it I was getting very irritable and standoffish towards everyone.
It had a lot more to do with me than the culture and customs of Korean people. The smallest things began to irritate me a lot more than they should, like being asked the same questions repeatedly, having to deal with people who weren't very receptive to me or my culture, and all the small little idiosyncrasies common to Koreans.
I had begun to really want to go home. I thought that maybe some time spent there would clear my head and set me straight.
Another thing I had been noticing shortly before I went home was my fixation on how much better my culture was at certain things. My mantra when I became irritable was "at least when I get home I won't have to put up with this sh*t, back home everything is perfect!"
Its all very strange considering I felt this way about being home just before I came to Korea. I'm from a really small town and have always been a black sheep just for having different interests than everyone else (basically I don't like four wheeling, sports and going to church, which makes me some kind of monster).
So I went home for a month.
-Everything is more expensive.
-I can understand everything everybody says. This is a bad thing. I had forgotten how stupid people are.
-People are disgustingly fat and it's practically against the law to tell them that. 80% of my hometown is fat. I made a remark about it when I was visiting relatives and noticed they would avoid the issue when talking and would refuse to use the word "fat." I guess we're all supposed to say "a little on the big side" or "overweight" now.
-Everyone my age who didn't go to university or move to the city gained 100 pounds, had two kids and complains about never having enough money.
-Everyone my age who went to university or moved to the city works at a shitty minimum wage job, has practically lost their will to live and aren't nearly as fun to talk to as they had been before I left. It feels like going to the local bar in a coal mining town after the mine was closed.
-Having to listen to relatives (all die hard Republicans) go on about the politics de jour like they actually know what they're talking about and having to try to keep quiet.
-Successful still means keeping less money per month than I keep here.
-Overabundance of responsibility. Some of it needless.
-Nothing ever changes. Everyone is doing the exact same thing they were doing. All the roads have pot holes in them that I remember complaining about five years ago. The only new business that came in since I left was Wal-Mart, and since everyone started shopping there all the town's family owned businesses have been on the decline.
-In Korea, people ignore you pretty much aside from some staring. Back home, people size everyone else up like it's their job and it's not uncommon for strangers to hurl insults at other strangers.
-Terrible internet. Terrible public transportation. Terrible service in restaurants (compared to Korea). Having to tip for said service.
-A lack of good Indian food. Korea spoils us there.
I could say a million more things but I'll leave it at that. I feel refreshed now and I feel like such a huge retard for letting all those little things bother me when I lived here. I am better off here than I was there and I think for a lot of us, this holds true.
Now I plan on going home once a year just to remind myself.
And I hate not being able to relate to anyone, or them to I, to touch on something brought up by another poster:
What also bugs me is how they also show little curiosity in your international experience or ignore it completely. Either they regard it as too mind-boggling and scary to comprehend, or they view it as wasted time (you could've been paying a mortgage and closing in on a management position in that time!).
Though a follow-up poster does provide a reality check:
I think most NETS here live in a bubble. Try supporting a family, paying off a mortgage, a car and see if you still have oodles of cash. You might find you're in the same boat as your friends back home.
I'm constantly weighing the advantages of East and West, wondering if each year I spend here means a year I'm not starting a career back home, or becoming a homeowner, wondering if I'm delaying the inevitable. But, lately I'm finding less worth going back to, when I consider all the ways Asia outstrips the US in convenience and, yes, development. Now that the cat's out of the bag on my relationship and engagement, I can admit that I've long worried about how quote-unquote foreigner friendly the US is compared to Korea or Japan for somebody who isn't fluent in the local language. I suppose it doesn't pay to be so on-the-fence about staying or going, but then again I'm not sure anything is guaranteed. Who knows if a career I land tomorrow will exist in ten years? Or if the house I buy now will worth anything when I retire? Or if I will even live to see 65 or whatever will be considered retirement age later? Or, at the rate US imperialism and arrogance is going, if the rest of the world will even allow it to survive for another generation? Or if it's worth saving?
Well, suffice it to say, there is a lot to like about Korea, and the periodic trips back home never fail to highlight some of what's good. I'm glad this thread came along to remind me.
44 comments:
Don't forget to ponder: "Which country will my child have the best shot at happiness/success/etc in?"
I'm almost embarrassed to take my wife and daughter back to the States, and I'm from a relatively level-headed and balanced area.
I think the original post you linked offers excellent perspective for expats who have forgotten why they left their hometowns in the first place. Korea can be an overwhelming place, but it grows on you if you let it.
One major difference between the U.S. and Korea that was mentioned is that in Korea people are interested in your background because it's not common, while in the States your desire to experience a new culture alienates you from the status quo and you're perceived as an oddball. I still remember the comments I'd hear when I was preparing to leave the U.S.:
Me: I'm moving to Japan. (and then later Korea)
Them: Why would you want to move to Japan? (Insinuating that the U.S. is paradise on Earth)
I'd just think to myself, "Because, here, people ask me questions like that."
The Sanity Inspector brings up a good point, though - The group mentality in countries like Japan and Korea leads to the tendency for "mixed kids" to be somewhat alienated from "normal society", although I see a trend that hints at a change in perception of what it means to be "Korean".
I agree with "the sanity inspector". Children will be the big deciding factor of where I end up settling.
I think noticing these differences would apply even to people who move from a small town to the big city and are not special to living in Korea.
When I moved to the city to go to university I found when I went home that I had nothing in common anymore with the people who I had been friends with for years and who had just graduated from highschool and started a family. The things they talked about made me want to stab myself in the ear and the town was so dull with the same problems it had had for decades.
The same is true when entering into a serious relationship or getting married. You notice big differences between yourself now and your single friends. I just dont care to hear any more about all the different guys/girls my friends are dating and if they could just "change them" etc. I cant believe how stupid some of them are...but about 2 years ago we used to talk about these things for hours.
It's about changing life experience not just about living in a foreign country. When you have a major life change unfortunately (or fortunately) what it does is make how you see things change.
I'm planning on repatriating in summer 2011. I'm preparing for that, but am concerned about getting a job after having lived in Korea for 15 years (at the time I move). I've got a small business building web sites I'm taking with me,but it's really small and I'm concerned about being able to support my wife and 2 kids.
There are a lot of things in Korea that are better than in Canada - internet, convenient shopping, and outstanding service. Koreans know how to treat the customer. Need an internet connection set up - the guy will be at your house same day if you call in the morning, if not the next day. No hassles. They work around the time you'll be home. Canada - not bloody likely. my sister set up an internet connection and was told she had to wait 2 weeks. the guy never showed and when she called to complain/reschedule was told she would have to wait another 6 weeks. Unfortunately for her there are no competitors to choose from.
The other thing that bothers me about going home is that I can no longer walk around in public because I can understand everything everyone is saying. After so long in Korea and having to actively concentrate to understand Korean it's really distracting to understand everything everywhere.
And where are the kids going to go to school? Foreign schools are tragically expensive and the Koreans cheat and lie to get their kids in, taking spaces for expats' kids. The only real option for most of us is to send the kid to Korean schools. Better make sure the kid is fluent in Korean. Hopefully the kid wont get bullied or picked on. Can you imagine trying to deal with Korean school administrators if your kid is getting beaten up? Can you imagine how the parents of the bullies wont give a shit less about your "child of the wind". I'd have my kid tell every bully that his father was going to open up a can of whoop ass of his father if anyone picked on him. I think kocking out a couple of bullies' dads would be the only way to stop the problem.
But the kid graduates high school...what's next? Send him to a Korean diploma factory and end up with a retard who cant think for himself with a diploma that is as useful as toilet paper?
And what if the Korean education system turns your kid into just another retard? Seems they turn out retards on a regular basis. Do you really want your kid to not have any reasoning and logical faculties?
NB,
My daughter is in Korea school precisely because foreign schools are too bloody expensive. However she has not had any problems with bullying or being ostracized. In fact it's actually the opposite as she is one of the most popular kids in her grade.
3 other friends of mine with mixed kids in Korean public schools have had similar experiences. One of my friends with 100% foreign kids had mixed reactions - 2 kids fit in easily despite having poor Korean skills and the third kid struggled for a while before moving to home schooling.
it's not as bad as you conjecture.
EFL Geek,
That's good to hear. I worry for the kids.
You bring up an interesting thing in your 1st comment. You have a skill that can translate into money. I think most English teachers do not have a specific skill set and would find it exceedingly difficult to make it back home. Are you making money with your venture?
Yeah, just stay. Korea's a good place to live in as a base of operations as you have access to quite a few important areas right nearby, and that also means that you can always find a way to spend a month or two in another country like Japan or China if you want to learn those languages too. It's easier to have a positive effect on Korea as well - it's on the verge of becoming a cat-loving country for example and we can have a positive influence there to get it to a critical mass.
This sounds more like a problem with living in small towns. After living in Seattle for a few years going back to my small town in Hawaii made me feel a lot of the same things. Everyone is fat, my friends didn't do anything with their lives, I can't relate to anyone anymore, etc. Living in a big city on the west coast brings a lot of different types of people and their perspectives to your life. Everyone I talk to is psyched about me living in Korea now and asks a ton of questions. It all really depends on where you're from and what kind of people you associate with. I am perfectly content living in Seoul or Seattle.
I think it's a bit strange to generalize the entire U.S. into one big "fat retard colony", when sweeping generalizations are the one thing all non-Koreans seem to want to get rid of.
At the risk of sounding like I have Peter-Pan syndrome, everyone thus far (respectfully) is talking about these long-term plans. Children. Mortgages. Cars. Where you'll be in five years. Don't get me wrong - I definitely think about these things too... But how many of them tie you down, whether you want them to or not? How freeing is it having the option AND ABILITY to move someplace new and experience that local culture?
If I do get married and have children, it will be with someone who appreciates the NOT-settling down part of life. There truly is some serenity in picking a place, buying a home / car, making roots in a local community, and so on. I've seen it in my parents. But that is far from the only option these days.
It seems fair to ask - "What is it you really want out of life?". For some, the promise / dream of that stable house / spouse / family is certainly tempting. For those still struck with wanderlust, I wonder how long it can last if you allow it to. If your answer to the aforementioned question is 'to explore and experience whatever, whenever', then the home and kids might get in the way.
And yes, it's easy to generalize about everyone being fat and stupid - but recall that after years of seeing skinny people in one of the skinniest countries in the world, seeing the majority of people around you being fat can certainly be a culture shock (and easy to generalize).
Its no secret that the US is the most "overweight" country in the world. They actually did a study on it afterall. And lord I hate fat people, not the people who are naturally big, but the ones who sit on the couch complaining to their friends about their weight as they munch down on KFC. Shows weakness.... but I digress.
Yes there is an immense difference between the US and SK. I personally feel east asia is much more my style then back in the states. My last visit was winter 2003-2004 and was for a month. After the first two weeks I was dieing to come back to SK.
The problem with most EFL teachers is that they expect SK to be just like their home. They tend to only notice the negatives and overlook the positive things.
Luckily I actually have high paying career prospects over here, so the idea of family / house is pretty easy to solve. My question for the EFL's is what is the highest position you could hope to obtain over here? Most of the EFL's I know are at hogwans doing stuff outside their degree path and just kinda "floating" here.
"My daughter is in Korea school precisely because foreign schools are too bloody expensive. However she has not had any problems with bullying or being ostracized ... 3 other friends of mine with mixed kids in Korean public schools have had similar experiences."
Can you break this down by gender? Seeing as how Korean men/boys are ao jealous of, and hateful toward, western men, I'd suspect foreign and mixed-race girls have a much easier time here than foreign and mixed-race boys. But am I right?
Word verification: misuda
(just joking)
"it's not as bad as you conjecture."
Actually, EFL Geek, it is pretty bad for those mixed kids with Chinese blood in my poor dong. One of my best students finally couldn't take all the crap she was getting daily and quit. She was constantly being told to go back to China by the wonderful purebreds even though she was born right here in Daejeon. Her older sister is still hanging on, but her features are more Korean than Chinese, so most don't know her true heritage. Last year, I lost a brother and sister from my middle school classes because they had to drop out of their public school because of all the vile crap that one of their school teacher's was giving to the sister due to their Japanese heritage. It spread into their daily interactions with fellow classmates, so they actually moved to Japan and are living with their grandmother attending school there while their parents continue to work here. Only here it's "wild geese children" instead of a "wild goose father."
Bullying thrives in the four-seaon climate here. I just didn't realize how bad it was until some of my better students set me straight about my wonderful picture of South Korea that I was painting in my head while wearing rose-colored glasses and explained just how bad the drop-out rate actually is here and the extreme stress that no one should have to endure--much less defenseless children. I had only really seen it the time I got a new kindergarten student who was born with an extra finger on each hand. He didn't make it through the week, and this was before he was even set to begin going to public school.
Personally, I can't help but wonder just how much your child's English skills, and background, play a part in her acceptance by those who may be hoping that friendship may pay off in the long run. Maybe, it's just because I've seen too many Korean mothers pressure their kids on who they should, and should not, be friends with.
And for those of you fixated on fat, you should come on over and check out this year's kindergarten class at my hagwon. It won't be long before the affluence in South Korea catches up with the U.S. judging by the sizes on many of my youngsters. I don't judge kids, but their thin classmates are as hard on them as they are on those not of the same blood.
Its not so much a fixation on fat as a deep dislike for weakness. Body weight is a function of energy in vs energy out. If you consume more calories during a day/week then you use you will gain weight as your body converts those unused calories into fat for future use (times of famine).
And while some people's bodies burn more energy during idle (higher metabolism's) then others, its still a function of energy out vs energy in. Or will someone honestly say fat just "materializes" on people and breaks the universal conservation of matter/energy?
So along those lines, people who are overweight are lazy. They literally take in more energy then they put out. Then many complain / get upset when its stated to their face. If you want to loose weight its simple, decrease energy intake (say NO to all but the most minimum food and NO snacking) while increasing energy use (walk / run / workout more). People who can't do this are mentally weak.
palladin you are an idiot and sound like the idiot doctors that I've been visiting this past year. There are ALSO medical conditions that cause people to gain weight as well.
I was exercising more than I ever had and was eating better but was gaining weight specifically in fat storage area's of the body and was constantly tired. I kept going to doctors about it here in Korea and was told that I was tired because I was fat and one doctor even told me that my breathing problems when I was going into anaphylactic shock from an allergic reaction was because I was fat.
I was only about 10 pounds over weight by the way but I kept on getting dismissed as an overweight foreigner who was obviously not telling the truth about exercise and food intake.
6 months and several doctors later I found out that there was almost no good bacteria in my stomach and by body wasnt properly digesting food. What it did digest it was storing as fat since I was in starvation mode. As soon as the digestive problem was sorted out the weight almost instantly came off.
But...you know...I'm just a lazy fat foreigner who's been sleeping 14 hours a night cause I'm mentally weak.
"6 months and several doctors later I found out that there was almost no good bacteria in my stomach and by body wasnt properly digesting food. What it did digest it was storing as fat since I was in starvation mode. As soon as the digestive problem was sorted out the weight almost instantly came off."
For heaven's sake, man, tell us more about this.
Their lying, or using a wrong / oversimplified version of the story.
Converting carbohydrates into fat isn't done in your stomach. Most of your digestion isn't done in the stomach, its in the small intestine. The stomach is just responsible for separating / breaking down complex foods into simpler form, and for absorbing water. It also serves to hold onto food until there is room in the intestines for digestion.
Fat does not materialize out of thin air, it must be ingested in some form or another. You body will burn through simple sugars first, then move onto more complicated carbohydrates before it starts to empty fat cells out for conversion.
And over sleeping isn't what will cause additional weight gain. Its all the little snacks / cokes we eat combined with not doing enough physical exercise. We've been trained to eat until we're "full" that happy almost-sleepy feeling we get after a meal. That feeling is a ~bad~ thing, it means you've ate too much. You need to eat just enough to live, in amounts that equal your daily physical activity.
If you don't work out and don't burn lots of energy that day, then eat a very light meal mostly of leafy foods and vegetables. Stay away from carbohydrates for that day. If you work out and/or do something like climb a mountain, then you can eat more food (you will need to) that day. There will be times when you feel "hungry" and want to eat something, you must learn to tell yourself "no" and just continue on with your day. When it comes food time, eat only what you need, say no to your body's desire to gorge itself. We're not living in caves and jungles anymore, we're not animals. We don't need to horde food for famine, nor require our body to trick us into eating large amounts.
As foreigners here we are outsiders. We spend our days looking at the culture and interpreting it through our own culture. When things go wrong, we remember it more than when things go right. When thinking about what Korea is all about, the first things that come to mind are the negative. The little things start to build and build until we start to look at Korea as some backwards country that can't seem to get anything right.
We start thinking about home and how everything is better there. The food is better. Chatting with strangers is better than the basic interactions that we have here. Schools are better. Driving is better. Everything is better than Korea.
Then we take a breath and realize that it's not all bad in Korea and it is not all so wonderful back home, wherever home may be. The food in Korea really is pretty good; and you can even find any sort of international cuisine, if you know where to look. The driving is crazy, but one gets used to the driving culture and fits in before too long. And not having to listen to all of the ignorance being spewed around us all the time may not be such a bad thing. When people ask us if we like kimchi, just smile and say yes. When you go home, people will ask you if they have microwaves in Korea, just smile and say yes.
Any expat who lives in Korea has what I call bad Korea days. Sometimes these days carry over into the next, and next. Hopefully they pass. If we go home for a long visit, we have bad days there where everyone rubs you the wrong way.
Some English teachers come to Korea for a year and end up staying. They plan a sort of gap year where they play and then return to the 'real world' to a career related to whatever they studied in college. When these people stay for more than a year or two, and then return, I think they are met with a lot more difficulties. What have they done with their time? Four years in Korea? teaching English? How does that help them get a job at the accounting firm or that bio-tech research company that recruited so heavily back when they were graduating? How do the skills they learned dealing with difficult Korean children (who don't want be in their 10th hour of class that day) translate into the office?
However, we are seeing a lot more people working in Korea who studied education and this is the career that they have chosen. A few years in Korea certainly won't hurt their career when they return back home. They should recognize that the years here won't count as teaching experience when it comes to salary plans in public schools though. They'll be at step one on the ladder. That could be a selling point though. Experience, yet low pay scale.
That brings me to my favorite subject: me. I was a teacher before Korea and I'll be one after I leave. When that happens, I have no idea. I've settled in, gotten married, bought a house and am on my second car. No plans for kids, though.
If this is your career, you have to remember to always better yourself. If you only have a BA in education, get your MA while you are here. If you have an MA and you are working in a university, then start working on that doctorate. Otherwise you will get stuck. It won't be too long before universities stop accepting teachers with MA's only. Eventually the ministry of education will get its shit together and set some standards. Anyone who is new to the EFL world in Korea would not recognize how things were just a decade ago. Imagine how things will be ten years from now.
Sorry for gettin' all Tony Robbins.
I agree with "the sanity inspector". Children will be the big deciding factor of where I end up settling.
Whether mixed Korean and something else, fully non-Korean, or completely ethnic Korean, there needs to be an affordable English-language education option in Korean cities (not just Seoul) for middle- and lower-income professionals who want to stay in Korea and raise their kids here in a safe way.
I've been plotting this for years, and I have a working model of how to do it, but it's so much work that I probably won't start getting super serious about implementing what needs to be done (other than planning on paper) until my own kids are born (giving me five years to work on it).
I wrote something about it back in 2006 (warning: if you think I'm a mindless Korea cheerleader or I'm anti-E2, that link will make your head explode).
@EFL Geek and others,
I think you're all making big mistakes keeping your children in Korean public schools. Up until middle school? Fine. But after that, you're setting up your children for failure and discrimination.
Unless your children land a gyopo-esque job of translating between English and Korean, their options will be limited. And, frankly, the gyopos will probably get the nod because their knowledge of Western business culture is stronger, their English is better and they're 100% Korean (I'm sad to type that).
I am not a parent, and I only want to toss out this idea to you. What we're seeing with the generation of English teachers marrying Koreans--and staying in Korea--is the reverse of the military families in the 1960s to the 1980s. Traditionally, the honhyeuls were brought back to America or Australia and were raised with a stronger knowledge of the West. Their semi-Asian features sometimes made them stand out, but mostly honhyeuls were viewed as White or Black.
Many honhyeuls I met in Korea regret not being able to speak much Korean, knowing the culture--and frankly, ignoring most of their Korean side.
Now, we're seeing honhyeuls raised in Korea. Their weakness of their two parents' cultures now lies with the West, America, Canada, etc. As the Western parent, ask if you'd be able to land the job you have if you weren't born and raised in America, or Canada, or Australia. I think it's overly optimistic to expect children who are half-White and raised in Korea to have the windfall of opportunities their Western parent had. Certainly, other than being a stand-in for a Western-looking person at a Samsung or LG, how might they fare in trying to get a job in the West? (I'm assuming for all the passion about raising the children in Korea--they'll eventually take the Western parent's citizenship)
Furthermore, I bet the bi-racial children will be looking to explore their Western side as adults. It's interesting. As this thread on Dave's ESL shows, the same desires to get out and explore a foreign world that drove military brides to go to the U.S., we are now seeing by English teachers. They want to assimilate into Korean culture. They want their children to be Korean. They'd love for the children to become little 회사원들 some day.
Alas, as a bi-racial child, I'm wondering what's lost. I can't wait for this generation to become adults in 10 or 15 years; I'd love to have a beer with them and discuss it.
palladin I'M using an over simplified version because this is a public blog and an off shoot of the conversation. Not the doctor.
Basically what was happening was food was comming back out almost completely undigested. I was tired because I was absorbing almost no vitamines and taking suppliments wasnt working because my body wasnt absorbing them either. It wasnt just "oversleeping". I couldnt wake up. I actually fell asleep in class while teaching and in the office while talking to co-workers. The problem wasnt my stomach. It was my entire digestive system and my body WAS storing anything that it was able to break down.
I am reactive hypoglycemic so I carefully watch my carb and sugar intake so thanks for playing.
By the way, advice like yours almost killed my brother when he was in highschool. He had been overweight and was teased by his classmates. So he became "menatlly strong" and worked out constantly though he ate a "normal" ammount. Oops! All those people who told him he was lazy didnt realize that my brother was eating because our father constantly put him down and beat him. Nor did they know that he was obsessive compulsive as well due to this abuse. He just needed to work harder and not eat so much. He almost died.
Not saying that some people arent just lazy and eat too much...but not everyone.
So, anyway, about Korea...
I think that keeping mixed kids in Korean elementary schools is a good idea. The kids here are pretty good at math. I wouldn't send them to middle school, I would probably hunt down a teacher who pulled some corporal punishment on my kid.
Besides that, for young kids, America does do something totally awesome that Korea just can't do very well, and that is volunteer organizations for youth athletics.
Sports that Korean kids can participate in are pretty much limited to martial arts, but those kinds of organizations are for profit.
Despite so many kids who really like soccer and who can play well, there is really no outlet for them other than just playing with their friends. Where in America there is a 60,000 member and 250,000 volunteer organization (AYSO) that caters to this need, and Americans by and large don't even like soccer.
Baseball as well, if a kid wants to play baseball, their parents have to fork over a bunch of money to send their kids to a baseball hagwon, they might even have to change cities if they want to play, where in America, all you need is a bunch of parents getting together to organize a league. I don't know if Korean parents have the time to do something like that, or that it would even cross their minds. I think that this place is fertile for something like that though. (It might also be nightmarish)
It really boils down to quality of life and how your children will grow up. As a Californian, I regard my childhood as a wonderful time. We'd take a football down to the park a few blocks away...a park that had GRASS (Koreans gasp as the concept). We'd choose sides, argue over who was going to play what position and who was better, then kickoff and is was full contact football and some kids got stuck.
Contrast that with Korean kids growing up riding their bicycles around the parking lot, surrounded by identical buildings with identical occupants.
Stop and think about this: From where you are reading this, how far would you have to walk to see grass?
As for myself, I think it would be a 30 minute walk. Fuck that.
You'd have to inculcate your kids with the truth that being bi-racial gives them the better of both races and that that makes them better than Koreans. You would NEED to do this to battle the evryday borg-like collective which will tell them/treat them like they are different and inferior.
I'd like a show of hands please: How many of you think you are superior to Koreans?
I know I do.
You think kids in America don't have their faces stuck to screens playing games? Yours is an issue of generation, not culture.
Like you, I'm from California. Southern California, at that, so I had great weather year-round on top of beaches and parks to go goof off at. But if you go to those same places now, you'll notice they're barren.
I don't know where you live in Korea, but in the two areas I've lived in so far, the nature has been spectacular, even just stepping out of our apartment complex. Of course Seoul and Busan are concrete jungles, but you can't say that's unique of Korea.
Actually Alex, talking about foreigners being dysmissed as having medical problems because they are "just fat" is about Korea. As well as fears about how my future children will be treated in school the medical system is also a concirn for me and will be a deciding factor about where I will live in the future.
Pescriptions are far less expensive, as is dental and eye care here than at home but the medical care I have recieved has been inconsistant. I have had the most amazing testing done by doctors here and they have given me copies of my test results as well as explained everything, something I would never get back home. But I've also been misdiagnosed and almost killed.
Allergies also are a problem in my family and to get an epi-pen I would have to go to Seoul and get one specially made. It seems that some treatments that I could normally get in any average sized city back home also require you going to Seoul in Korea.
So let me get this straight. You digest track was unable to digest food, but you still gained lots of weight? That is complete BS. The only carbohydrates your able to absorb through your stomach are simple sugars, and they don't store very well (your body would of burned them within an hour or two). Everything else requires a much more complicated process.
In that situation you would of LOST large amounts of weight, almost to the point of death. Like I said, fat doesn't materialize out of thin air. Its the resultant of a long digestive process. When your digestive system acts up, it usually can't make fat. As for you sleeping, where did I ever mention over-sleeping as a cause for weight gain? Or did you get into this argument as some form of sub-conscious defensive mechanism? You can maintain a healthy body weight and still have eight hours of sleep a day. Its simply a energy in vs energy out question. Or do you seriously think 30% of the people in the US have digestive tract problems (OECD's study)?
As for your "brother" who almost died, he was mentally weak. "Ohh no my life sucks" snarf snap gulp only goes so far. If he cut out all food then he was an idiot ontop of being weak. Using food as an escape from life's problems is the hallmark of the glutton. The pleasure acquired from food is supposed to make you desire to eat (so you don't die) not cure all your woes.
Being mentally strong is having complete control over your will and actions. Its knowing exactly what to eat and how much of it to eat. Its not "dieting" or trying to kill yourself, its simply knowing when to tell your body "no". You'd be amazed at what accepting personal responsibility for your life and all your actions does to a person.
That strength pass's onto many other things as well. From relationships to professional situations.
nb wrote:
Stop and think about this: From where you are reading this, how far would you have to walk to see grass?
As for myself, I think it would be a 30 minute walk. Fuck that.
Hmm... If I were at home in Seoul, I think it would be about one minute, but it's not a lot of grass.
A better question would be how far I would have to walk to see a forest. For me in Seoul, that's a fifteen-minute walk. It's about a half-hour walk in Honolulu — only because, unlike most Honolulu residents, I live at the mouth of a mountainous valley — but in Orange County it would be a half-hour drive.
Seoul and other major cities have been putting up more grass and more parks at a fast clip. I have several major parks in my area whereas a few years ago I had only one. Frankly, the part of Honolulu just on the other side of Interstate H1 from me is no less of a concrete jungle than my part of Yongsan-gu.
I am baffled why people choose to live in tree-less neighborhoods like Taehŭng-dong (in the Shinchon area) or Haebangchon. Depressing and totally unnecessary.
palladin, you're not a doctor, and havn't bothered to properly read what I have written so I'll leave it at that.
I will agree with you on one thing though. 11 year olds who have been beaten and repeatidly put done for most of their lives usually have weak minds. That's why he would eat regularily and then secretly exercise.
You're really cool.
@ Palladin "People who can't do this are mentally weak."
The same way that people who have such a black and white view of the world are mentally weak.
Most of what you say is pure nonsense based on the fact that in terms of evolution, anyone who has children is someone who has "survived." So to counter your train of thought, I would like you to consider Mas Oyama. Mas Oyama was one of the greatest martial artists of the 20th century. He would chop the heads off of bulls and meditate under freezing waterfalls, but he never had children and most pictures of him show him to be rather stocky and a bit overweight. So yes by your definition the guy had a weak mind and was an absolute waste of humanity.
The same would be true for Babe Ruth. Now I agree with you that in most developed countries, obesity is a problem, however, so is inflexibility of the mind, which in mental terms is a form of weakness. People bitch and moan all of the time about how Koreans are like the borg, and seem to like to make sweeping over generalizing statements, but when they behave in that manor they seem to just be expressing an "opinion based on their own personal observations." I suppose that if you have your own set of criteria to make decisions about the world around you and the people you encounter, it makes life easier, and hey who but lazy people want to have an easy life, that's why they choose to teach English in Korea.
@ 3gyupsal
I agree with most of palladin's comments and in my humble opinion, its true and yes, it does make sense .The Law of Natural Selection (which epitomizes the concept of evolution) is not absolute (like most laws and assumptions), and subject to exceptions. The biochemical pathways inside the human body is so intricate that a slight tweaking may result to an unexpected result, hence the exception. The case of Mas Oyama and Babe Ruth is probably a good example. Now statistics plays a great role here. If i will have to give an analogy, say i grew up a colony of bacteria that has a mutation in a gene that renders it incapable of using a certain sugar as a source of energy, chances are for every 1 to 10 million of bacteria, all will exhibit the same deficiency, except for 1-5 single colonies for example, primarily because those mutants have learned to overcome the deficiency by another mutation or in simpler terms have managed to manipulate its genetic and biochemical machinery. It goes the same for exceptional people who are far different from the stereotypes (general population).
As far as the definition of mentally weak, i think the best definition is from your statement which is
"People bitch and moan all of the time about how Koreans are like the borg, and seem to like to make sweeping over generalizing statements, but when they behave in that manor they seem to just be expressing an "opinion based on their own personal observations."
-- That statement is perfect, and i wholeheartedly agree. These people exemplifies the weakest of minds.
@Kushibo,
대흥동 rocks. Totaly my favorite place in the universe. It has character. It doesn't look like ever other area in Seoul. All those windy alleys? Cool! Plus, it is very nearly the epicenter of the city
And now ladies and gentlemen you can see subconscious defensiveness at its best. Where did I ever mention genetics, evolution, or martial arts masters? Also I believe I mentioned that there are some people who are naturally "big" as in barrel chested / big-boned and who's body types are a bit different.
"Fat" is someone who is obviously overweight. They eat more then they use up and thus gain large amounts of excess fat. This appears in the stomach area, on your backside, around the thighs and so forth. Its large lumpy / jiggly regions that are easy to identify. You can't twist it or rose-color it any other way. This represents approx 30% of the population of the USA. ~THAT~ is a huge problem. It is bad for your health and very unattractive.
Mental strength is as I've stated, the ability to control yourself regardless of whats going on around you. To say "no" to the impulse to gulp down another greasy chicken leg. To tell yourself to eat light even though your body wants you to gorge yourself. To make yourself exercise when you know you need to. To know when to tell yourself to stop drinking. To not get in the car if you have been drinking. And it is that black & white. Either you take personal responsibility of your actions regardless of the contributing factors, or you blame everyone and the world for your problems.
nb wrote:
Stop and think about this: From where you are reading this, how far would you have to walk to see grass?
As for myself, I think it would be a 30 minute walk. Fuck that.
And someone else posing as nb wrote:
대흥동 rocks. Totaly my favorite place in the universe. It has character. It doesn't look like ever other area in Seoul. All those windy alleys? Cool! Plus, it is very nearly the epicenter of the city
You live in a treeless shithole, which in your first comment you seem to realize (though you project that Korea in general is like your shithole), but then you go on to praise that shithole.
Seriously, I had to go back and make sure that was the same person making those two comments.
.-.-.-.-.
I can see why Taehŭng-dong's windy alleyways might have some appeal, but there are other such neighborhoods that aren't so barren. I lived in one in western Yongsan-gu.
Back in the earlier part of this decade one of my cohorts included a sizable number of people who happened to live in Taehŭng-dong (about a third of them), and it became obvious after six months or so which people had chosen to live there. Without knowing anything else, they were the ones who showed up each day with a pissy attitude, full of negativity, everything bothering them, etc., etc.
It's possible they were a self-selective group of negativity-steeped people who had subconsciously chosen to live in a brick-and-mortar and concrete jungle with no trees and where each window opened up to someone else's brick wall two feet away, but seriously it got to the point where we started advising people not to live there.
There's a reason that I mentioned Taehŭng-dong without anyone else bringing it up and certainly without knowing you yourself lived there.
Do you have foot access to the urban forest nearby you? If so, maybe you should make a habit of taking a breather there every now and then.
By the way, is it still full of, ahem, "working-class girls"?
Geez, Kushi, it is not like every other neighboorhood in Seoul is not full of working girls. What percentage of Korea's GDP is performed horizontally? 2%? 3%? Cant walk outside without tripping over a whore. But yes, you are correct...that dong has loads of whores. Kind of adds...ahem...a certain flavour to the place, as it were.
nb wrote:
Geez, Kushi, it is not like every other neighboorhood in Seoul is not full of working girls.
After all I mentioned about treeless concrete jungles, that is what you took from what I wrote?
Actually, the relatively high concentration of professional girls living in that neighborhood was one of the more colorfully interesting things about Taehŭng-dong I found and not one of the things I would list in order to bash that neighborhood.
Although it has, in your case, seemed to feed your distorted view of how easy it is to find prostitutes "in every other neighborhood in Seoul."
What percentage of Korea's GDP is performed horizontally? 2%? 3%?
The oft-cited 2% figure is one that has been offered up originally by a women's group with an agenda to make prostitution in Korea look as large and looming as possible. The figure they use encompasses an estimate of all "entertainment" costs at establishments that are in business categories where sexual services of any type are sometimes found. For example, if some drinking establishments offer women to cuddle, then all such drinking establishments are considered part of the sex industry figure.
No, 2% of Korean women are not providing sex for money (not in the professional sense, anyway). That you think...
Cant walk outside without tripping over a whore.
... is a reflection of your neighborhood to a large extent, which you seem to acknowledge:
But yes, you are correct...that dong has loads of whores. Kind of adds...ahem...a certain flavour to the place, as it were.
I don't disagree with you there.
It is really good to see some reflection on life here and live at home. I have lived abroad for about 10 years and I went home for the first time in those ten years last year, just before coming to Korea.
Some things are nice about living in the US. Having family around does make a person feel more secure. Getting to know nephews and nieces is a wonderful thing.
Having access to things you can't find overseas like that particular local food is nice.
But when I live overseas I learn more about myself and I have seen myself grown. That is what we can get out of our experiences here.
I don't have all the noise and interference that life in my home would keep me from listening my inner self. I don't have all the pressures of keeping up with the Joneses. I don't have those pile of bills I see my father or brothers sort through on bill paying day. I have only my internet bill and my utilities to worry about and I can go to the bank and insert the invoices and pay with my card. No checks to balance.
For all the crap we Americans spew about being advanced in many areas we are still in the dark ages.
Keith, that was interesting to read, and a bit enlightening. During the ten+ years I've lived in Seoul, even with some relatives nearby, I almost always went back to California twice a year for weeks at a time to spend with my immediate family. I can't imagine having spent a whole decade away from them.
And while you're right that there may be fewer obligations in Korea (for many, but not for everyone), I would encourage everyone to still take obligations seriously. I saved up 1 to 1.5 million per month every month for four years or so and used the resulting money to buy an apartment in central Seoul. Though my neighborhood has since been priced out of what would have been an affordable price range for me then, there are still decent but humble housing options in Seoul that have serious potential to move up eventually (email me for details if you're interested). I encourage everyone to consider buying property if they can. And if you can't, try to find a way.
"What also bugs me is how they also show little curiosity in your international experience or ignore it completely. Either they regard it as too mind-boggling and scary to comprehend, or they view it as wasted time (you could've been paying a mortgage and closing in on a management position in that time!)."
It's like this poster read my mind. Back in Canada now after a few years in Korea, this is something that I actually find quite depressing. My time in Korea was probably the most significant few years of my life, and yet here in Canada I feel as if it's simply left me with all these experiences that no one can relate to on any level. When I talk about my experiences abroad, my friends listen politely, nod, etc. but I can see their eyes glaze over, and sense that they're just waiting to steer the conversation back to something that's not outside their daily experience. I might as well be speaking a language they don't understand. I'm not looking to brag about all the places I've been -- in fact I'm quite self-conscious about that -- but I feel that I've grown a lot during my time in Korea, and it's frustrating not to be able to share that with people.
LOL
The pluses and minuses.
Actually, I love going back home to Australia. Mind you, we're a weird mob compared to you Yanks.
It's funny the poster mentioned die-hard Republicans.
I've met plenty of stupid Democrat/Obama supporters over here. Just listen to the crap some people espouse about anthropogenic global warming. Utter nonsense.
Whatever.
It takes a special breed of waygook to survive and thrive over here. Dare one call it a niche?
That said, it's interesting the poster thought of the 'good ol' days', so to speak.
IMO, that's natural. But for all those stories of shitty hagwon bosses and even SMOE, let's face it; similar stuff happens back home, too.
It's not a Korean phenomenon. It happens everywhere.
I've been ripped off here before, and even my current employer is acting quite disgracefully in the run-up to the end of my contract...
However, this country is changing. Thanks to people like Brian, it is so much better to work here now than at the beginning of this millennium.
In a sense, teaching English is not just about vocab, grammar and TOEIC. It's much more. Both for them and for us...
We change them. They change us. And thank God those barriers are less so, nowadays.
And congratulations on your engagement, Brian.
PS And for the failblog piccy also!
Thanks for the kind words, bingbing, and for the congratulations. After an email over there I got failblog to attribute the source (more on that on Monday).
I do agree with those who say Korea/EFL's a niche, and it definitely isn't for everyone. Flipping through Facebook I sometimes find myself envious of my old classmates who now, at 28, already have a wife, kid, house, career, and household pet. But, based on the trajectory of my life, that lifestyle is about as foreign to me as Korea is to them.
Oh, and regarding Republicans and Democrats . . . they both have their strengths and weaknesses, but I tire of people who are far more into American politics here than they were back home.
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