1. Wait until the oldest or most senior person at the table has begun eating before starting to eat.
2. Do not hold your spoon and chopsticks in one hand. When using chopsticks, place your spoon on the table.
3. Use your spoon to eat soup and other watery dishes before eating rice or other dishes.
4. Eat as quietly as possible and do not make excessive sounds with your utensils.
5. Refrain from excessive stirring of soup or rice at the table and do not pick out ingredients or seasonings you dislike.
6. For shared dishes, transfer food to individual plates. It is also good manners to transfer dipping sauces to individual plates before use.
7. Discreetly throw away meat and fish bones by wrapping them in tissue or paper napkin.
8. If you have to cough or sneeze, turn your face to the side and cover your mouth with your hand or a handkerchief out of courtesy to other people at the table.
I don't think I've ever seen "as quietly as possible" used to dictate any behavior in Korea, ever.
13 comments:
Yeah, it's like rule four is in there hiding, after running away from its proper place on a list about table manners in England.
Girlfriendoseyo finally understood how I feel about smacking lips when I likened it to the feeling she gets when I step into my apartment with shoes on.
I have to say that this constant proselytizing of Korean etiquette drives me bonkers. Whether you're watching (snickering at) Arirang, trying to study Korean through texts, online services or at one of the University language programs in Korea, you always get a greasy dollop of "accept a gift with both hands/turn away when drinking, etc." to spoil whatever you have devoted your attention to.
I'm studying the Korean Language-- I am not studying how to be a Korean.
In addition to being widely disregarded even by those who preach it the loudest, I find it INCREDIBLY condescending. As if visitors to Korea (because I hate using the word "foreigner") are all fat, cheesy-smelling, lumbering blond buffoons who left to their own devices would pick their nose at the dinner table and wipe boogers on their hosts' walls.
Rob, that's exactly the analogy I always use. The first reaction isn't repugnance, it's "are you doing what the fuck I think you're doing?" Sometimes I just look across the room and am like "seriously?" I'm convinced some of the English teachers do it to spite me.
The thing is, though, more often than not Koreans will deny that they do it.
(If this comment section becomes animated enough I'll write my Joongang Ilbo piece about it on Friday.)
Like a lot of "rules" in Korea, they are often bent, re-shaped or ignored. A few of those, depending on the occasion, people you are with etc don't even apply.
Some of these are more important than others. Some important people stand on such ceremony and you will make a very good impression if you subscribe to them. If you don't, fine, whatever.
Particularly in a business setting (including anything where your boss, his/her boss, his/her boss, etc., is present) anything dealing with how to behave in front of elders is highly important.
As for the quietness, excessive noise is generally looked down on, but Koreans also make loads of noise when eating (and especially when drinking). That kind of rule reminds me of the scene from "Tampopo" at the bottom of this post.
Speaking of food and noise, I had a part-time job in a government agency in Hwagok-dong back in the 1990s and the immediate supervisor had a daily routine — which he himself was probably not aware of — where he would sit at his desk and suck through his teeth until every morsel of food from that day's lunch was finally dislodged from his teeth. The noise carried across the vast third floor of that building, visibly annoying the crap out of everyone.
But no one ever said a word to him; he was the boss.
I brought up a few of these lists in a post last October. They're all kind of identical, and all of them mention eating quietly. One list says:
***
Don't ever speak out loud with food in your mouth.
Always try not to make noise when you are chewing.
***
lmfao
While in a barbeque restaurant in the Philippines, there were several Koreans sitting just right behind us. They were talking so LOUDLY, and laughing so HYSTERICALLY like hyenas with their mouths wide open, and with all the thrills, and frills and yellows. And as if "several" was not enough to create such a scene, other "friends" arrived; with that, we found ourselves shouting as well because we could not hear what we were talking about...tsk tsk...
When I was in Guam having dinner at the lovely, and quiet, Hyatt hotel restaurant there was a group of four women that were so loud. I was fed up (as was the other table of diners across the restaurant) and so asked the waiter to ask them to be quite. They zipped it immediately and left shortly afterwards. I knew they were embarrassed by it, but really, fine dining doesn't meaning shouting.
I've seen most of those observed except....FOUR. Uh, #4, what are you doing in that list?
When it comes time to eat food in the teachers' office, many times I absent myself because I really cannot stand it. But that's maybe not the best course of action, for a couple of reasons: it makes me look like a jerk and it confirms the stereotype that says foreigners can't eat Korean food. If I pass on sharing ddeok people nod knowingly because it's assumed that foreigners don't like it. That may be true among some, but I think one reason why foreigners might avoid eating it in the office is because of the noise that accompanies it. It is, like roboseyo said, to our sensibilities what walking through a house with shoes on is to theirs.
I guess rule number four really depends on upbringing. I know koreans who are really loud during meals. At the same time, there are other families where making sounds while eating (and that includes eating ramen noodles)was frowned upon. When I was little my mom would always reprimand me for making chewing noises.
as for what MKM said...
I guess I've seen the handwashing go both ways. In a public bathroom, I've seen one guy lathering right up to his elbows in soap and leaving three millimeters of water all over the counter, while nineteen others walk right past, ignoring the taps.
Ahhh - I don't miss that part of the culture at all....
Post a Comment