South Koreans also have focused on the person they believe, more than anyone else, made it all possible: Ms. Kim’s mother, Park Mee-hee.
“I majored in Yu-na,” Ms. Park wrote in a memoir that has become a best-seller. “For Yu-na, I studied harder than when I was in school. I devoted myself to her more passionately than when I was in love.”
But this kind of commitment is only to be expected in South Korea, where parental involvement in children’s careers can approach obsession.
Twelve years ago, when a coach told her that her 6-year-old daughter showed talent in skating, Ms. Park embarked on her singled-minded quest. She abandoned her own painting lessons, stopped attending community meetings and restructured the family budget. All family resources were to be applied toward making Ms. Kim a star.
Six days a week, Ms. Park drove her daughter to skating lessons, monitoring her training and recording her mistakes. She forgot her husband’s birthdays and skipped her other daughter’s graduation because it conflicted with a skating match.
. . .
Working long hours and eventually ensuring that their children end up at the top of a chosen career is a dream pursued by many South Koreans. Here, a parking lot attendant whose son becomes a doctor or lawyer is more admired than a millionaire whose children do poorly in school.
The article talks about "skating moms" and "golf dads," so give it a read. The idea that Korean parents care more about their children than do any other parents in the world is something we'll hear every once in a while, something derived from this determination and obsession, and was revisited recently when the Korea Times wrote "Skating Moms Tougher Than Hockey Moms."
12 comments:
Too bad they didn't interview the parents whose over zealous commitment to their children has led to their suicides. Maybe some answers could actually be found and put to some good use in helping those thinking about taking the ex-President's way out.
"South Korea's 'ajumma', a married woman or woman old enough to get married, is famous worldwide for their education eagerness for children. [sic sic sic]
The New York Times recently shed light on mother of Kim Yu-na, the world figure skating champion, praising her devotion to the high-achieving daughter." -- The Korea Times
Hard to put a finger on why now, but when I first read that NYT piece, I didn't see it as being complimentary of Kim *Yeon-Ah's mother or of Korea in general. Maybe it's just me.
* The skater's name is 김 연아, right? Not 유나 or even 윤아. So it should be spelled as Yeon-Ah, not Yu-na. Right?
I went to Lotte in Chamsil about 4 years ago with my girlfriend, and I saw these little tiny turds shooting around the ice rink all decked out in short-track racing gear. I got the hell out of there fast.
I think the article was 'less complimentary' as well. A mother that ignored her other daughter for Kim Yeon Ah. That doesn't require lots of reading between the lines.
I think 90% of Koreans know that this is a "misguided" mentality, but like everything else, it's chalked up to "that's Korean style." And you can never beat that.
Anyway, it's just Korea. How about them PENS! City of Champions!
Whether or not that article is flattering to Korean alpha moms depends, I guess, on the cultural background one is coming from.
Personally, I have seen, taught, so many of these micro-managed children, young "Adults" in high school, who can't go to the restroom without their "Friend" to hold their hand.
Honestly, I would rather teach high schoolers who have "Grown up too fast" than teach those who have not grown up at all.
Is that the same NYT article where Yu-na's mum says Korean mums have a "pack" mentality when it comes to sending their kids to the hakwon du jour?
Also on Korean names, While there is a system for transliterating Korean to English, convention goes out the window when it comes to names: Lee, Rhee, Ee, Park, Pak, Bak, Kim, Gim, Yuna, Yeonah, yoona, yoonah etc etc etc.
As teachers we need to disabuse our students of this notion and try and get them to stick to the system, however there are generations ahead f them that will continue to spell their names however they want.
"Six days a week, Ms. Park drove her daughter to skating lessons, monitoring her training and recording her mistakes. She forgot her husbands birthdays and skipped her other daughter's graduation because it conflicted with a skating match." - NYT
I'll bet family dinners (if any)were a real delightful time.
On second reading, the NYT, imho, did an admirable job of simply telling the story. Koreans might read it as praise for a devoted parent. Others may see a "stage mom" in the worst sense of the term, in a nation of overbearing parents and unhappy children.
I thought it was most telling that Yu-na or Yeon-Ah herself says that she would not treat her own child the same way she has been treated.
"Also on Korean names, While there is a system for transliterating Korean to English, convention goes out the window when it comes to names: Lee, Rhee, Ee, Park, Pak, Bak, Kim, Gim, Yuna, Yeonah, yoona, yoonah etc etc etc.
As teachers we need to disabuse our students of this notion and try and get them to stick to the system, however there are generations ahead f them that will continue to spell their names however they want."
From what I know, most Koreans get the roman transliteration of their name from their passport or from some other official documentation. Some variation can therefore be accounted for by the fact that the official transliteration system changed from the McCune-Reischauer System to a Korean-formulated Revised Romanization System around five or six years ago. 연아 would have been Yu-na under the old system and Yeo-na under the new. Prior to a widespread formalization of the earlier system, people were free to romanize their name however they fancied, hence the variety of spellings (Lee, Yi, Rhee, Ee, etc) for 이, which, once romanized, have been handed down from father to child. I don't think it's really our place to 'disabuse' children of the spelling of their name. Just think how many English names can have different spellings (Stephen/Steven, John/Jon, Katherine/Kathryn/Catherine, to give just three examples from my own family) - how would you have liked it if your high school French teacher had tried to 'correct' the spelling of your name?
Stevie Bee -"how would you have liked it if your high school French teacher had tried to 'correct' the spelling of your name?"
Although I pretty much agree with you, how does that reference apply to this situation, unless you have a French name?
Just curious.
"Although I pretty much agree with you, how does that reference apply to this situation, unless you have a French name?"
Yeah, I know it was a pretty ham-fisted equivalence, but the point I wanted to make is that it's not up to a language teacher how you spell your name.
Back when I was an Engrish teacher in the provinces, I taught a wonderful 6th grade girl. Her father was a Japanese teacher, and even though this girl had never gone to an English hogwon, she was fluent enogh to have decent in-depth conversations.
I mentioned to my co-teacher one day that this girl had almost never made a mistake (oral or written) and was the best student in the school. The co-teacher told me about the girl's background (she knew because she was a family friend).
The parents had been pushing this girl so hard for years to do well in everything. Below this girl's calm exterior, she was slowly reaching the breaking point.
I have stayed in touch with the co-teacher over the years as we are friends (and had been much more). Last year, I asked about the girl and her story had radically changed. She had moved to a smaller city further out. In her second year of middle school, she met a boy and they started a sexual relationship. He grades slipped and she became rebelious. They have run away together several times (but I cant imagine how far or where they could possibly go).
The parents did this to this perfect girl due to their (the national) obsession with education. The Koreans cannot adhere to the "work smarter, not harder" adage.
She wrote a memoir? How much could she have written?
"I am Kim Yeon-ah's mother. I made her skate every day until she was a champion. The end."
"On second reading, the NYT, imho, did an admirable job of simply telling the story. Koreans might read it as praise for a devoted parent. Others may see a "stage mom" in the worst sense of the term, in a nation of overbearing parents and unhappy children."
On another forum, this article was discussed and one side was divided and called her a stage mom and the other side said it was acceptable because it's the "Asian way."
The way the article presented her mom wasn't entirely accurate. Like when the first daughter told her mom she wanted to become a singer, the NYT article described the mom's reaction as only negative and not supportive. Actually, what the memoir goes on to say that the NYT article so conveniently left out is, a couple of months afterwards, the mom heard her daughter sing and realized her daughter actually has a legitimate chance at making it, and not some false hope of becoming the next teen, idol star. So her mom did in fact try to help her daughter out and got her an audition for a music company, however by that time which was only about 2-3 months after she first came to her mother, she had changed her mind and wanted to become a nurse. And guess what she's doing now. Yup, she went to nursing school and now she's a nurse.
And that graduation the mom missed? It was an elementary school graduation. What happened was Yuna had a competition far from home on the day of the graduation. Her mom felt so sorry for missing her other daughter's graduation, she called all the aunts and uncles to attend the graduation in her place.
I have no idea why the NYT article chose to portray the mom as a stage mom when she really isn't one to begin with. Sure she's stern, but there's a difference between a Korean mom and a stage mom. The article tried to portray her as a Korean, stage mom using excerpts from a memoir taken out of context.
"The skater's name is 김 연아, right? Not 유나 or even 윤아. So it should be spelled as Yeon-Ah, not Yu-na. Right?"
It should be Yeon-Ah, but the story goes, when she was younger, the guy making her passport wrote Yu-Na instead of Yeon-Ah. When she arrived at the competition, the officials took the name on her passport and she's been called Yu-Na since then.
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