Byung-hyun Kim arrives at Pirates spring training.

Gwangju's own Byung-hyun Kim, who signed with the Pittsburgh Pirates last week, arrived at spring training and gave a little interview to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. Nothing special, except he does say again that he wants to be a starter.



Kim is the first Korean player in Pirates history. Last year Masumi Kuwata was the first Japanese player to wear a Pirates uniform. A former All-Star and two-time World Series Champion, Kim is best known for his submarine slider, for flipping off Boston fans in 2003, for giving up home run number 715 to Bonds, for blowing two saves by giving up three devastating home runs in the 2001 World Series, and for giving up a tie-breaking home run in Korea's final loss in the 2006 World Baseball Classic. I'm sure there are more events worth mentioning, but Jesus Tapdancing Christ, you try sifting through that Wikipedia page.


OTL.

Legendary Steelers broadcaster Myron Cope dies at 79.

Myron Cope---Pittsburgh native, voice of the Steelers, inventor of the "Terrible Towel," member of the National Radio Hall of Fame, humanitarian---died yesterday at the age of 79. His unique delivery, enthusiastic personality, and thick Pittsburgh accent were among the reasons so many Steelers fans muted the volume on the TV and turned up the radio during Cope's long tenure as radio broadcaster. Here's a minute-long video clip of him talking about the Towel:



The Pittsburgh Post Gazette has a nice obituary. An excerpt:

His style, simultaneously elegant, robust, and humored, landed him on the original full-time staff of Sports Illustrated, which, with the Saturday Evening Post, became the primary conduits of his work. At its 50th anniversary, Sports Illustrated cited Mr. Cope's profile of Howard Cosell as one of its 50 all-time classic articles. Only Mr. Cope and George Plimpton held the title of special contributor at that magazine when Mr. Cope left due to the demands of his burgeoning radio career, and in no small part due to health insurance concerns as they related to his son, Danny.

Mr. Cope's legendary charitable work, which ultimately led to his being awarded the American Institute for Public Service's Jefferson Award in January 1999, began with his son's enrollment at the Allegheny Valley School, an institution for the profoundly mentally and physically disabled. He served for many years on the board of the Pittsburgh Chapter of the Autism Society of America and the Pittsburgh Vintage Grand Prix, the charity auto race he co-founded, along with the Myron Cope/Foge Fazio Golf Tournament for Autistic Children.

The Terrible Towel, long since a worldwide symbol of Steelers passion and often the Steelers artifact with which Mr. Cope is most identified, is now a trademark that benefits the Allegheny Valley School.

He was a legend in Pittsburgh and he will be missed.

Korean comedians rip-off Penn & Teller.

Hat tip to mindmetoo.

Some Korean comedians have ripped off a routine done by Penn & Teller that exposes how a box trick is done. The Penn & Teller video is here, the Korean video is here, and a video of Penn talking about it is here.

Goes without saying that public figures influence other public figures, and that people borrow and "sample" all the time, usually to put a new twist on something or to pay tribute to the original. But what bothers me in Korean and Asian cases is that there's an effort to pass the copy off as one's own idea. That the public---whether watching comedians, listening to Lee Hyori or Kim Ah-jung, eating snack foods, or drinking Starpreya---will be ignorant of the source and will be deprived of the creative process that went into the original. Having run-of-the-mill gagmen doing this act is a disservice to Penn & Teller, who were innovate in their presentation of the original expose and who have been somewhat innovative in their debunking of bullshit.

Penn joked about suing for kimchi, but I don't think he'd get very far in a country that has little regard for intellectual property . . . ah, unless Koreans designs are being copied by the Chinese (here and here and here, too).



* Edit: Just came across this article in the Joongang Ilbo, "Intellectual property safer in Korea." An excerpt:

"In the intellectual property index, patents and trademark rights carry a lot of weight. Korea, with its developed corporate sector, is protecting them well, though it is relatively weak in the protection of copyrights,” Choi Sung-no, a fellow at the Center for Free Enterprise, said yesterday.

Nazi mural in Gyeongju.

Came across this mural in downtown Gwangju Gyeongju (sorry) the other day. It's located about two blocks from 대릉원, one of the tomb parks, and is painted on the side of a store. It's on 북정로, between 태종로 and 화랑로, the two mainstreets in town, and borders on that downtown pedestrian-only shopping district.








Painted on the side of this store.


The "staff" is partially obscured.

I thought this post was going to be groundbreaking, but it looks like other people noticed it first (here and here), and apparently it's been around for a while.

My dad told me that when he was a kid there was a guy who lived across the street who used to hang a Nazi flag in his basement. He seemed a little crazy. But in that guy's defense he was from Austria and actually was a Nazi. So while he was hateful at least he wasn't ignorant. That was sarcasm.

I'm all for freedom of expression and all that. I'm just curious what view these Koreans are expressing with this mural. Do they respect Hitler for being a strong leader who pulled his people his country Germany out of a recession? Do they respect the Nazis and their influences for their authority based on blood purity? Do they just think the colors look cool and that Nazis are well-dressed? Do they like the Germans for being allied with Imperial Japan, the nation that conquer most of Asia, including South Korea? Oh, shit, wait . . .

Or perhaps the burning of Namdaemun will usher in National Socialism.

From a letter to the editor of the Joongang Ilbo:

In times of national tragedy, there are always those who seek to exploit public fear and insecurity to achieve goals that are not readily apparent. As some in Korea have made comparisons between America’s horrific 9/11 tragedy and the loss of Korea’s precious national landmark, it behooves all who clamor for greater government protection ― possibly at the expense of civil liberties and due process ― to review how one fiery event changed history forever: the Reichstag Fire of 1933.
As in Seoul, a barely coherent man with a checkered past wandered the streets of the German capital with a grudge against the system and allegedly set fire to a beautiful historic structure to seek revenge. An ambitious right-of-center politician promising sweeping changes to revive the battered economy and wounded national pride saw an opportunity and made his move (launching Nazi Germany). It may be wisefor Koreans to review the circumstances of the tragic Reichstag fire for its eerie similarity to the loss of the precious Sungnyemun, for how the desire to avenge such a senseless crime may be exploited by the powerful for unforeseen ends.

For those keeping score at home, we've had 9/11, Katrina, Auschwitz, Cambodia, and Ground Zero. I've got five bucks riding on the progression leading next to Fort Sumter.

The Pride of Korea returns home to Korea.

* The strikethrough in the title was supposed to be a joke, haha, because Hines Ward isn't very Korean, so the "Pride of Korea," haha, see what I did there? . . . But since it's not showing up as struckthrough in my feed it makes me look like a dumbass. Sorry.



Hines Ward, attending the inauguration of Lee Myung-bak today. Stolen from the Korea Times. Looks kind of like Barry Bonds there.



That second one stolen from Naver.

More "Korean 9/11" talk.

* Edit: You know, after thinking about this a little more, it seems like they're suggesting the Namdaemun fire was more traumatic than 9/11 because Koreans haven't had as much experience watching their monuments burn on television and in movies. Yeah, I know this article isn't necessarily representative of everyone, but that it gets published, especially considering the earlier "Korea's 9/11," "Korea's Katrina," and references to Auschwitz and Ground Zero, the hyperbole is very discouraging.

Original post:

This time from the JoongAng Ilbo.

We have had our fair share of tragedy ― the collapse of the Sampoong Department Store and Seongsu Bridge, plus the arson attack on the Daegu subway.
However, cameras didn’t catch the moment of the accident. The fire at Naksansa Temple in 2005 still sticks in our memory, because we saw it on TV.
People could do nothing but watch the pitiful footage as the ancient temple burned and the bronze bell melted in the flames.
Viewers who saw those painful images will never forget them. The sounds of people shrieking as they looked on has been burned into the hearts of the people of Korea.

It's rather bold to suggest that 9/11 was, to Americans, equivalent to a filmed action sequence. Moreover it's outrageous to suggest that 9/11 was, to Koreans, anything more than that. There are numerous reasons why the "Korean 9/11" thing is off base. And then, of course, there's how Koreans reacted to the real 9/11:



Image taken from this "ROK Drop" post. I have more thoughts on the "Korean 9/11" phenomenon that I'll be posting here shortly.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA the Pirates signed Byung-hyun Kim! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The Pirates are getting an early start on their 16th consecutive losing season by signing Gwangju's own Byung-hyun Kim.

Kim, a 29-year-old sidearm right-hander and native of South Korea, split last season between the Colorado Rockies, Arizona Diamondbacks and Florida Marlins, going 10-8 with a 6.08 ERA in 28 appearances, including 22 starts. In 394 Major League Baseball appearances, including 87 starts, he is 54-60 with a 4.42 ERA.

Fuck, we're fucked. And yes, since you were wondering, Kim's Wikipedia page is three times the size of Lee Myung-bak's. And that's before including the section about Kim blowing out his arm, as all Pirates pitchers are wont to do. Expect that addition around May or so.

The Chinese women's soccer team is good.

Sitting in my motel room after an excellent trip to Danyang's Gosu Cave. I just wanted to pass along this insane video from a women's soccer match between Korea and China. Yes, I know it's ridiculous when Koreans complain about cheating in soccer, considering their teams have become so expert at it, but this is just unreal:

Cute little otter found in Gangjin.

Hahaha, so fucking cute. This otter was found under a bridge in Gangjin's Seongjeon-myeon, where I used to teach every Friday last year. Pictures, story, and humorous captions in yesterday's Gangjin Shinmun.



In other news, Gangjin's local bus terminal burned last Monday. From the picture I guess it's still standing, though the article said that it endured 6 million won's worth of damage in just 15 minutes.



This is the "군내" terminal, which runs buses to the county's outlying villages and hamlets, and not the new intercity terminal. The local terminal is located next to the 5-day market, and if your bus happens to stop at the terminal, the boarding passengers will mostly be old women with their wares.

I also did a little update on my post on Nammireuksa, the temple in eastern Gangjin with the 36-meter-high brass Amitabha statue, so go 'head and check that out. And with that, I will leave you all to your own devices as I go on vacation tomorrow for a week and visit some of this country's sites. For all the bitching that goes along with teaching here, that I'm on vacation about 25% of the time kind of evens things out.

Consolation, unintentional humor, and a slaughtered pig.

Here's the caption for the above photo that was posted by the Korea Times last evening:

Consolation: A shaman conducts a ritual in front of Sungnyemun gate in downtown Seoul, Monday, to console its spirits and ask for a better future. A pig was slaughtered as a sacrificial offering for the destroyed historical heritage.

Well, I hope that makes everyone feel better. Not as dramatic as the time a live pig was ripped apart in Icheon in protest of a military base, but to be fair people are usually a bit tired on Mondays. In other Namda Sungnyemun news, turns out homeless people had been regularly drinking, eating, sleeping, and shitting inside the monument. No word yet on what animal will be slaughtered to appease the spirits of the 22 North Korean refugees murdered the other day, or of the North Korean businessman executed for making an international phone call. Man, Korea's 9/11 is becoming more tragic with each passing day.

More racial ass-hattery from the Korean press.

First, the Chosun Ilbo points out that Barack Obama "speaks white people's English." Then the Korea Times speaks on our crazy, mixed-up world:

In the reversed world of today where the best golfer is black and the best rapper is arguably white, could the best Korean footballer be wearing the colors of the North, not the South?

If the Herald comes out and says that the best hookers aren't, in fact, Korean, I'll crap my pants. Korean papers throw lines like the one I quoted all the time and it's really hard to point out all of them. They're noteworthy not for simply being insanely backwards, but for being completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. An article about a North Korean soccer player couldn't go more than a sentence without commenting on the absurdity of a colored man playing golf and a white man singing black music. If the papers aren't going to employ editors, at least have them keep the sterotypes out of the English-language articles.

Worth pointing out that the North-South match in question will be held in North Korea and will not feature the South Korean flag or the South Korean national anthem, as both have been banned by the Dear Leader.

Barefoot, pregnant, educated.

From an article in today's Korea Times, "Married Woman Graduates From Ewha For First Time":

At a first glance, Ki Sung-hwa seems to be just an ordinary student who will soon graduate from university. The 31-year-old woman may look a bit older than her colleagues as she entered the university later in life. But what makes her graduation more meaningful is the fact that she will be the first married woman to graduate from Ewha Womans' University.

The university used to ban a married woman from entering the school until 2003.

Emphasis mine. Damn. Anyway, good for her.

(North) Korean TOEFL Scores: LMFAO.

Funny to see this report, in light of a post I made two weeks ago. The Chosun Ilbo tells us:

South Koreans and North Koreans record similar TOEFL scores, despite trillions spent on private English lessons in the South. Radio Free Asia on Thursday said according to a study of TOEFL scores between September 2005 and December 2006 after the TOEFL went online, South Koreans on average earned 72 points out of the full 120 points, compared to 69 for North Koreans.

North Koreans score higher than the Japanese, who record 65 points -- mainly because North Korean applicants are mostly from the elite, like students studying abroad or staff of the Foreign Ministry. Some 6,000 North Koreans took the test during the period.

Ah, yes, North Koreans outscore the Nips. Had to get that in there, didn't they? Some would argue that it's a flawed study since, as the paper says, North Koreans taking the test are relatively well-off, whereas "South Koreans account for 19 percent of TOEFL takers worldwide." But that sort of supports the argument I and others have made: that the TOEFL and other standardized English exams oughtn't be used by so many South Koreans, especially when they're clearly not ready for it. Reversing that trend would mean that, at least, South Koreans wouldn't rank as one of the worst TOEFL-taking nations.

What about Gangjin's gates?

Two days ago in the Gangjin Shinmun there was a little write-up about Gangjin-eup's old town wall (강진읍성). There is a renewed interest among some, apparently, after the recent destruction of Seoul's Namdaemun. Gangjin's gates are gone, and the fortress walls are pretty much gone, too. If you walk through town, though, you'll see allusions to the old wall. If you head northwest from the bus terminal, for instance, you'll see several of the shops have 서문 (west gate) in their names. And if you hike on Boeunsan mountain, you'll come across a placard marking the spot of 강진읍성. The first few times I passed it I didn't see any trace of a wall, but upon closer inspection I found a small ridge that runs parallel to the hiking trail for a tiny stretch. Because of the trail, the wall, and the natural contours of the hill, that area resembles a stretch of terraced land. Under the trees and overgrowth there is a line of stacked stones running up the hill, confirming my suspicion.


This bump is how Gangjin-eupseong appears today.

According to the placard, some estimate Gangjin's wall was built in 1457. In 1894 the eastern, southern, and western gates were destroyed by fire.

I'm sure the article has more details, but I don't understand much of it. I'll have to sift through it later. Of course it's completely unfeasable and impossible to restore the gates or the wall, but I would like to see somebody erect placards marking where the gates once stood. I was quite surprised last year to find no mention at all of the gates or the wall in town, save for the collection of 서문 businesses behind the bus terminal.

강진읍성 is one of a ton of fortresses in Jeollanam-do, and one of at least 5 in Gangjin county. Besides 강진읍성 there's Suinsanseong, Manhosanseong in Maryang-myeon, another one in Maryang whose name escapes me 마류성, and 전라병영성지, where explorer Hendrick Hamel was held for some ten years.

H.O.T. in the place to be.

It's a lazy Sunday, and I'm in the process of uploading a bunch of pics I've taken over the past year. Looking through my files I came across a set photos I had taken of my students' textbooks, as this past fall I had planned to do a post about them. I'll work a few in a little later, but I just wanted to share these two because they made me chuckle when I rediscovered them. I don't recall the book from whence they came---perhaps "ethics"---but they show a student giving a presentation in front of the class. "H.O.T." is carved on the front of the podium, in reference to "High-five Of Teenagers," a Korean boy-band popular at the turn of the century. There's another English word carved underneath it, but I can't make it out. Jjang (짱), perhaps?



The H.O.T. podium makes another appearance in the book, this time in front of a teacher. Click the photos for larger versions.

Korea's Katrina?

More cranio-rectal inversion from the columnist who justified anti-Japanese abuse in the name of the Liancourt Rocks, who fantisized in the Korea Times of Japan being annihilated by North Korea, who championed Putin as a friend of Korea and balance to "ruthless market economy," and who has apparently written under the influence of LSD on several occassions.

It's hard to tell when Korean pop is being ironic.

Here's a video for the song "뜨거운안녕" by the group 토이. It has a retro feel, intentional I'm sure. But even with the disco ball and roller girls, it's sometimes hard to tell if Korean pop is being ironic and retro, or if the performers are simply dressing like 1987, just like most other Koreans in 2008.

"Actually most Koreans didn't think at all that we were ugly."

I'm going to have to steal from The Joshing Gnome one more time and share an excerpt from Hendrick Hamel's account in Korea. In this part Hamel and his captive shipmates are asking the king to let them go back to Japan, and they end up setting a terrible precedent:

Foreigners never received permission to leave the country. So we had to reconcile ourselves to staying in this country for the rest of our lives. To the custom of the country he invited us accordingly to amuse him with dancing, singing and clownish behavior. Though we fulfilled this obligation with little talent and as little enthusiasm, our performance was to the liking of the king and his court.

Whoa, dude, my first hagwon's name was "Avalon." You can find an English translation of his account here and the portion about "Chollado" is here. An excerpt:

. . . [The governor] sincerely pitied us and wondered why we didn't try to go to Japan. To this we answered that we didn't have the permission to do so and on top of that we didn't have a suitable ship at our disposal. At which he remarked mischievously that in these coastal villages there were enough ships at our disposal.

We assured him that we would never dare to make use of a ship which was not our property, because if we failed then, we would not only be punished for our attempt to escape but also for theft. We said this to make him not suspicious. Every time we said this, the governor had to laugh heartily.

I'm pretty sure the "SaesOng" refered to is present-day Yeosu. As the "Hamel Capsule System" tells us, in a summary of his journal:

Late February of the same year [1662], the superior office ordered to break them up to groups: 12 went to Yeosu (Saijsingh in the original text), 5 to Suncheon(Suintchien in the original text), and 5 went to Namwon (Namman in the original text).

For an interesting write-up about Hamel's ten-year exile in Gangjin, visit this site. An excerpt:

It is also possible that some men met local women and through marriage or otherwise fathered children, whose descendants still live here. The Dutch were given the Korean name Nam. There are several roots for the clan of Nam in Korea, but one originates from around Byeongyeong. And it is from this region, that many people named Nam have typical features like a large body and facial characteristics that may well be from the foreigners in the 17th century. When professor Kim Tae Jin of the Chonnam University in Gwangju did research on this subject, he encountered resistance and a lack of cooperation from the people, as it is regarded as shameful to have mixed blood and not to be of pure Korean breed. Maybe the grand grandparents of these nice old ladies could tell more! Long time ago, before the Korean war, a tall man from Byeongyeong with western facial features called Nam, moved to the north and became a general in the army. It is said that when the North Korean army raided this area, the village of Byeongyeong was spared on special orders from general Nam.

Jeollanam-do's Slow Cities.

Way back in December four villages in Jeollanam-do joined the "Cittaslow," or "Slow City" movement. The Chosun Ilbo has the story; an excerpt:

Four Korean farming and fishing communities have become the first Asian members of a network of towns dedicated to resisting the homogenization and Americanization of cities with their omniprent global franchises. Cittaslow International picked the four communities in South Jeolla Province as "slow towns" at its annual meeting in Orvieto, Italy. They are Changpyeong in Damyang County, Jeungdo Island in Sinan County, Cheongsando Island in Wando County and Yuchi village in Jangheung County.

The network praised the four for beautifully preserving tradition and community spirit while others rush into urbanization and globalization. Cittaslow -- from the Italian "citta" for "city" and "slow" as in the Slow Food organization -- is dedicated to preserving the beauty of the slow life. Many towns and villages around the world aspire to membership, but they must meet stringent criteria. Established in Italy in 1999, the network accepts only towns with a population of under 50,000 that pledge to preserve the natural environment, tradition and regional specialties while giving the heave-ho to superstores and fast food restaurants.

That's cool, and I'd actually like to learn a little more about this and what it means for these places. As a naive, snarky observer, though, this just seems part of the trend to designate every part of the country something or other. I just learned that Naju---fucking NAJU---proclaimed itself an "innovative city" back in November, joining the ranks of Jeju, Gimcheon, and Jinju. This in addition to the "Tourism and Leisure City" going up in Haenam, the "Namak New City" initiative in Muan, and the "Offensive County" movement in Gangjin. And I guess we should pretend that these four communities in counties you've never heard of intentionally rejected growth and economic development. Oh well, Jangheung's Yuchi-myeon is really charming, and there's certainly nothing wrong with countryside places embracing the countryside.

A teacher from Gwangju has an opinion piece in the Korea Times here. The conclusion:

Now is the time when we need to value the real meaning of a slow life in our thoughts, behavior, and environment, and stop pursuing the life of fast food and fast living, as it can easily lead us down the path of ``dehumanization'' by isolating us from nature.

All Koreans! Let's return to nature by embracinging the slow life as more natural, human-oriented, and valuable than the fast life, since we are just a small part of the great nature that surrounds us.

Edit: I passed through Jangheung the other day and saw quite a few signs for 유치자연휴양림, some kind of campground I guess. They have a website, and some photos. Come for the nature, stay for the wrestling:

부끄러운현장, A Shameful Scene

Don't know if I got that translation right. Anyway, a commenter on the Metropolitician's site tells us that this picture of Japanese tourists in front of Namdaemun is currently the most-viewed story on Cyworld News. Kawaii! I guess some of the comments at the bottom of the page aren't very nice, but that's to be expected. There are a couple of other photos in the set:

Korean 9/11? *update*

More updates at the bottom of the post.

* Update 1: I thought I'd add a little bit of commentary atop my original post. I realize the Chosun Ilbo piece is merely quoting a few opinions, and does not necessarily represent widely-held views. Koreans are very prone to hyperbole and exaggeration, even in calm situations, and the piece reflects that tendency. While a lot of Seoul residents probably do feel a genuine sense of loss, I suspect we are seeing some of the Korean brand of sorrow, which encourages public displays of mourning. Add that to a penchant for overstatement, to a fiercly protective nationalism, to a well-stoked national sense of victimhood, and to a frequently-seen inability for empathy, and it's not surprising to find people linking arson to terrorism. Maybe the "Korean 9/11" opinion isn't widespread, and maybe it hasn't been adopted as the company line yet, but when I checked the Chosun Ilbo site this evening I did see it featured on the homepage, which is not only stupid journalism but just plain stupid.

There will be plenty of time for the blame game, and this disaster will provide plenty of material for blogs and newspapers for a long time. It's tempting to point out the multiple levels of incompetence. Or to take the public to task for allowing the "I was old, drunk, and angry" defense to fly so often. Or to shake my head at the irony of this disaster in a place that has recently tried so hard to attract tourism. I find myself saying something to the effect of "perhaps this will be a wake-up call" a lot in response to news stories here, but it's worth saying again that I hope this will foster a greater sense of duty with regard to protecting cultural properties. Usually protecting history here means writing an opinion piece for the paper invoking the Imjin Wars or complaining about imagined slights, and that leaves one wanting a more practical approach. Fire and neglect have destroyed lots of historical sites in Korea, and not just during times of occupation or foreign invasion. Anyone who has travelled to parks or tourist attractions know that local tourists haven't always taken great care of these places, and that's more than a little paradoxic in a country convinced of its proud history. Maybe this great outpouring of pride will drive the public to hold those responsible . . . responsible, keep the government accountable for safety and security measures at sites across the country, and encourage people to be more vigilant and consistant in their love for Korea's limited amount of tangible history . . . not simply when disaster strikes, or when newspapers feel it's prudent.

You can read the Metropolitician's take on this "Korea's 9/11" business here.

Original post:

From a Chosun Daily article titled "Sense of Disaster Over Lost Monument Sweeps Nation":

Koreans were reaching for the superlatives on Monday. "The Korean equivalent of the 9/11 attacks happened while the whole country was watching." "The Republic of Korea's no. 1 National Treasure or no. 1 national pride turned to ashes in an instant."

Get a fucking grip.

Two professors expound on the 9/11 theme:

Baek Sang-bin, a professor of psychiatry at Gangneung Asan Hospital of the University of Ulsan said, "Just as Americans were thrown into a panic after watching on TV the World Trade Center buildings, the symbol of the U.S., collapse in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Koreans now feel a great sense of loss and frustration at the sight of the Namdaemun collapse. The disaster in Seoul didn't pose any threat to their lives. But they psychologically felt the equivalent of feelings the American had in the wake of the 9/11 attacks." If they happen to watch the scene of a disaster with their own eyes, people regard its consequences as happening to them personally and feel great unease and panic, Baek added.

Ha Ji-hyun, a professor of psychiatry at Konkuk University Hospital, said Namdaemun was one of two national symbols that “protected us psychologically” alongside the statue of Admiral Yi Sun-shin, who destroyed the Japanese Navy during the Japanese invasions of Korea in the 16th century. “People's sense of panic and frustration over their loss of Namdaemun will linger on for a long time."

As an American living 4 miles away from Washington D.C. on September 11, 2001, I'll wager that no Korean is psychologically feeling the equivalent of what I and many of my peers felt and still feel regarding the 9/11 attacks. Amidst all the finger pointing that is going on, and that will likely continue for a while, I hope people come to terms with how utterly unprotected this psychological guardian was. And in the middle of all this hyperbole and crying-for-the-cameras, perhaps people will reflect on the meaning of monuments, and the symbolic power they hold, and will try to quell the penchant for burning them to the ground.

* Update 2, February 20, 2008: Well, I guess now they're comparing Namdaemun with Auschwitz, the Cambodian killing fields, and Hiroshima, in addition to Ground Zero:

Unlike trips made for recreation or tourism, these trips to the scene of a tragic disaster are made for self-reflection and edification. Representative examples of this kind of tourism are Ground Zero; the Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland where Jews were slaughtered; the Killing Fields of Cambodia; and Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan, the sites of atomic bombings.

* Update 3, February 23, 2008: Now it's the Joongang Ilbo's turn.
* Update 4: Parallels with the rise of National Socialism? Where's the rolly-eye face?

* Update 5, March 5, 2008: I addressed the issue in the latest edition of Gwangju News.

TV movie "음란한마을" filmed, set in Goheung.

For a neat look at life scenery in a coastal Jeollanam-do village, try and catch the TV movie "음란한마을," set and filmed in Goheung county. It's on right now, actually, on OCN. I can't follow the plot too well, but it looks like a travelling porn salesman sets up shop in the village and spices up the locals' lives. I'm sure it'd be interesting if I could understand it . . . or not really. But it is very scenic, and could easily have been filmed in just about any village down here. If anybody has any more information about this program, please pass it along. Just don't go searching for it on Naver, because if you type in 음란한마을 you'll get the age-verification page I mentioned earlier. 음란한 means lewd and dirty, apparently.

Naju's gates.

East Gate seen through the cherry blossoms atop Namsan Park.


The front of Namgomun (남고문).

With gates in the news after the Namdaemun fire, here are a few photos of Naju's two: Namgomun (남고문) and Dongmun (동문터). They are the remnants of Najueupseong (나주읍성), the fortress that once surrounded present-day Naju, Jeollanam-do, back when it was a strategic port city. They are obviously a lot smaller and a lot less-known than those in Seoul, but they still look neat, especially in an otherwise ordinary town. According to the placard in front of East Gate:

The initial construction date of Naju-eup Fortress remains unknown . . .
The current Naju-eup Fortress was completed by Kim Gye-hui, a magistrate of Naju-mok who held office from August 11, 1457 to November 21, 1459. The Maeil sinbo newspaper(July 23, 1913 issue) reported that the fortress's east gate collapsed in 1912, during the Japanese colonial rule of Korea. It is presumed that the south gate collapsed sometime between October 1916 and 1920.
Naju-eup Fortress, like most of the town and city fortresses of the Joseon Dynasty, was built making advantage of plains and hills with Mt. Geumseong Fotress in the background. Its preimter measures 3,679m, and the whole fortress covers some 974,390m2(294,753 pyeong). The east gate was called Dongjeommun, the west gate Seoseongmun, the south gate Namgomun, and the north gate Bukmangmun.

The fortress is designated as historical site no. 337, and both gates are short walks from Naju's bus terminal. Naver's encyclopedia has a few decent photographs here, and Naju's site has kept track of nearby historical sites.


Namgomun from down the street. This is actually the rear of the gate.


Rear of East Gate.


The front of East Gate is masked by a wall, and the wall is bordered by a parking lot and Namsan Park.


Visitors can walk through the East Gate and go on both stories. The gate is in pretty good shape.

Korean exchange student charged with molesting children.

19-year-old Hanse Park faces a life sentence for molesting two children in Vermont. Park was a student at Mount Saint Joseph Academy in Rutland, VT, and has "admitted his involvement" with the two children, aged 4 and 6. The Boston Globe has the story in an article that's almost a week old and has largely gone under the radar. A press release from the Vermont State Police is here, and a video news report is available here. I couldn't find any information about when the protests outside the South Korean embassy will be held, but I'll keep you posted.

Hong Kong celebrity scandal.

Wikipedia has summarized a big, bizarre scandal that's been playing out over the past two weeks in Hong Kong. It involves actor Edison Chen and explicit photographs of a number of Hong Kong B-listers, the only one of whom I know is Cecilia Cheung (장백지). She co-starred in the Korean film Failan (파이란) with Choi Min-sik and alongside Jang Dong-gun in the Chinese film The Promise (무극). Intimate photographs of Chen with a bunch of women were stolen off his computer when he took it in for repairs a few years ago. Shanghailist.com, to name just one site, has more information here and here, including updates and celebrity reaction, though some of the photographs are not safe for work.



Failan is a really nice movie, and not just because Cheung is an insanely beautiful woman. And it was also the first Korean movie I ever saw. She plays a Chinese woman who, after the death of her parents, ends up as a mail-order bride for Choi Min-sik, and is sent to work in the village of Daejin in Gyeongsangbuk-do Goseong county, Gangwon-do. Here's a scene from when she first arrives at her new home in Daejin . . . there have been many times when I could relate. It's really a charming movie, and while I obviously don't know Cheung, I feel bad about this situation because of it.

I don't have my pulse on the Chinese pop scene at all, so I don't know all the angles or what different people are saying. Posting on it is a damned if you do/don't situation, because it's a huge story over there with a bit of local interest here; however, obviously each post contributes to the feeding frenzy. From afar this mess is a testament to the notoriously rabid paparazzi of Hong Kong, and the lengths to which some lowlifes will go. And according to a couple of sources, the guy who released the photos has a ton more. If it's any consolation, looks like Edison Chen will be shamed out of films for a while. He's currently in North America with his 18-year-old girlfriend.

Gangjin, Offensive County.

From one of Gangjin county's introduction pages on its site, this one outlining the policy of the region. The Korean reads 공격적 군정, and Naver tells us that 공격적 means offensive or aggressive in a military sense. I take it Gangjin means offensive and aggressive in pursuing opportunities and resources and stuff for the county, but you never know. On another introduction page it is clarified a little:

Offensive County
Change a direction of Gangjin by attracting enterprises, factories and capital investment and finding a way of Gangjin in order not to hand over regional conditions with underdevelopment, stagnation, terrible poverty, disappointment and frustration to descendants.

So there you go.



Poking around the county's site reminds me of an uncharacteristically funny comment from one of my coteachers last year. Her English is pretty good and she was asked to edit some of the English-language publicity material for the annual celadon festival. For some reason, Gangjin is obsessed with advertising "mysterious celadon" or the "mysteries of celadon," and my coteacher complained to me, after the county didn't implement her changes:"Why do they call it mysterious? We know how to make it."

By the way, that festival is actually a pretty good time. If you go you'll have opportunities to make this mysterious celadon, and there is no shortage of photos and video clips of foreigners hamming it up for the news cameras. It's usually held in the fall, but this year it's held in August so I'll probably be out of the country. I don't care about pottery, to be honest, but the county is very proud of its reputation as a major producer of celadon, and many pieces of Gangjin-based pottery are in national museums. I think a big part of the pride also comes from Gangjin's position in the flow of celadon culture from China to southern Korea to Japan. Fame by association with the inherited wisdom of the Chinese, and intense satisfaction in transmitting this legacy to the Japanese, many elements of whose culture Koreans believe to be hand-me-downs from Korea. The Wikipedia page and its discussion (lmao) are careful to make clear that the Japanese abducted Korean craftsmen in the 16th century.

Practically all city and county webpages have English ranging from awkward to incomprehensible. Why don't they use native speakers to help out? Comes down to partly to pride, I think. My offers last year to help with the Gangjin site---I had accumulated tons of information on the county by writing for Galbijim---were not taken up, and I don't expect there are many middle-aged Korean suits willing to take advice on their English from a twentysomething white person. It's also an underestimation of the power of a comprehensive, user-friendly English site. Foreigners have come to expect gibberish from Korean sites, but a well-done English-language site would not only make it easier for tourists to visit, but would also, I think, raise the area's profile above that of other, more Konglishy places. I've sifted through just about all the region's webpages, either for my benenfit or for Galbijim articles, and it's remarkable that practically no English-language versions give information on getting to major tourist attractions. Forget about information on hiking trails, and forget about anything on restaurants and accommodation. Trying to get a handle on a region's attractions requires going through several different sites, mostly Korean-language ones, and unless you know exactly what you're looking for, you won't find it. And I'm a guy who likes to learn the history of places down here, but I can largely forget about that, too. This page on the history of Jeollanam-do deserves a "lmfao" and reads like the Book of Genesis' list of who beget whom. Here's an excerpt, and feel free to skip a bit:

Suggog and Jisan branch offices in Gwangju-city were reorganized and then Pug-gu ward office was created by reorganization of the administrative district in accordance with Presidential Decree No.6930 on Sept.26, 1979. Samil-and Dolsan-myeons of Yeocheon-county were promoted to each Samil-up and Dolsan-up, Gwansan- and Daedeok-myeons of Jangheong-country to each Gwansan-up and Daeduk-up. Ilro-myeon of Muan-county to Ilro-up, Gumil-and Nohwa-myeons of Wando-county to Gumil-up and Nohwa-up, Jido-myeon of Shinam-county to Jido-up and 9 myeons of 6 counties were promoted to up by Presidential Decree No.10050 on Oct.21, 1980.
Gumsung-si was created by integrating partial areas of Naju-up and Yeongsanpo-up by Law No.3425 on July 1, 1981(promulgated on Apr.13, 1981), and Daegeom-myeon in Gwangyang-county, Dodeog-myeon in Goheong-country, Pukil-myeon in Haenam-country.
Unnam-myeon on Muan-country, Jindo-myeon, Palgum-myeon and Sineui-myeon were created in Shinan-county on Feb.15, 1983 according to the reorganization of administrative districts by the regulation to alter the districts of city, county, ward, up and myeon and to alter myeon boundary by Presidential Decree No.11027 on Jan.10, 1983.
Ssangam of Seungju-county was promoted to Seungju-up and Hongnong-myeon of Yeonggwang-county to Hongnong-up by presidential Decree No.11772(promulgated on Sept.26, 1985) on Oct. 1, 1985. Yeocheon branch office was expanded to Yeocheon-si and Gumsung-si into Naju-si by Law No.37985(promulgated on Dec. 28, 1985) on Jan.1, 1986 . Gwangyang branch office was established by Jeonnam provincial Law No.1554 on Dec.30,1986.
Yangsan branch office of Junam-myeon, Goheong-county was promoted Sanae-myeon of Goheong-county and Hoijin branch office of Daedug-up of Jangheong-county to Hoijin-myeon of Jangheong-county, Gumdong branch office of Gumil-myeon, Wando- county to Gumdang-myeon, Wando-county and Bokil branch office of Nohwa-up, Wando-county to Bokil-myeon, Wando-county by Presidential Decree No.11814 on Apr.1, 1986 and the existing Gwangju-city was promoted to Gwangju Municipal city and separated from the province, and the administrative districts of this province were changed into 6 cities ,22 counties and I branch Office,(29 ups, 208 myeons) 96 dongs, 33 branch offices of up and myeon and 6,491 dongs and ris).
Samhyang-dong of Mokpo-si was established by Jeonnam Provincial Law No.1081 on Jan.1, 1987, Songjeong-si and Gwangsan-county were included in Gwangju-city by Law No.3963 on Jan.1, 1988.
Jugpo branch office(area 31.30) of Yeocheon-county and Pyungpoongdo branch office( area 3.34㎢) of Jeundo-myeon, Shinan-county were established by Jeonnam Provincial Law No.1177 on March. 5, 1988 and Gwangyang branch office was promoted to Donggwangyang-si by Law No.4050 and Taeun branch office(area 5.01) of Hugsan-myeon and Goyido branch office(area 0.5㎢) of Ape-myeon, Shinan-county were established by Jeonnam Provincial Law No.1284 on Jan.1, 1989. Sengil branch office of Daeju-myeon, Gangjin-county was changed into Mary-myeon and Sannae-myeon of Goheong-county into Yongnam-myeon on Apr.1, 1989.

Haha, and that's just 1980-1989. LMFAO.

I think the "Offensive County" line has beat out my old favorite, "Powerful Jumping Green Jangheung" from Jangheung county. However the site does contain this line from the town magistrate:

We expect our constant interest and love. Enjoy internet surfing.

The mascot, Pyodongi (표동이). The website tells us: "This character personifies the representative specialty of Jangheung, Pyogo. It is very effective to show soft and friendly image of Jangheung County."

Anyway, Gangjin is a pleasant place to visit, and there's a lot of history and quite a bit to see and do. I hear they might construct a park around the northern tip of Gangjin Bay, so that's about the most "offensive" thing in Gangjin. Oh, except for those several months in 2006 when they flew an American flag with "FUCK" written on it across from the county office as part of the FTA protests. That was pretty offensive, too.

By Popular Demand: Kangjin ESL, Damyang schools, Gwangju Windmill Motel

About a week ago I installed sitemeter, and have been able to see who has visited my site and how they got here. It's amusing. I really don't get that many hits---a few per hour---and a lot of them are in search of racy pictures. Unless it's a day when I'm getting linked by another blog, I'd say about half of my hits are off google searches. And when they're not looking for steamy photos, they're looking for stuff about Jeollanam-do. I've gotten a surprising number of hits for the Yosu-Sunchon Rebellion and for the Sunchon Tunnel Massacre. I've also gotten hits for things that aren't addressed on my site, and I feel bad for disappointing people. So I've decided to do a regular feature where I briefly address some of the search results that have brought people to my site, especially those searches dealing with Jeollanam-do. Three that I got recently were "Kangjin ESL," "Damyang schools," and "Gwangju Map Windmill."

* I got somebody looking for "Kangjin ESL." Kangjin is an old way of romanizing Gangjin that you don't see anymore. Those looking to teach in Gangjin county will most likely do it through a public school. Every now and again a hagwon will employ foreign teachers, but the most recent one went belly-up in the fall, and its teachers were let go. Apparently some people come to Gangjin via the EPIK program, and though you might read some positive reviews of EPIK on the internet, it's been largely criticized for disorganization, for unfavorable contracts, for disorganization, and for disorganization, and in 2008 there's really no reason for you to put up with that. The recruiter that handles most, if not all nowadays, of the public school jobs in Jeollanam-do is Canadian Connections.

* I also got somebody looking for "Damyang schools." Damyang county is similar to Gangjin in that there are hagwon, but as it's a fairly sparesly populated county, the work you'll want is through the public school system. Canadian Connections can offer you more information about job availability. There is also the Jeollanam-do Education Training Institute (JETI, 연수원), which provides training for Korean English teachers. In the past the camps were operated during school vacations, and local public school teachers would be obligated to work them for several weeks. Now, evidentally, the center will be staffed full-time and will operate year-round. According to some advertisements I've seen JETI pays slightly more than an ordinary teacher, but you'll have to get in touch with somebody else who can tell you the pros and cons of a job like that. I did a small entry on the Damyang camp here. Oh, and Naver tells us that there are presently 26 elementary schools, 11 middle schools, and 5 high schools in the county.

* And, I got somebody looking for "Gwangju Map Windmill," in reference to the Windmill Motel (윈드밀모텔). For some reason it's a very popular motel with foreigners. It's located downtown, in the Chungjangno district, a block or two from the Migliore building. Anyway, the motel does have its own website, available here, and there is a crude map available here. To get to the motel, use exit 1 of Geumnamno 4-ga (금남로4가) subway station and walk toward and past the prominent Migliore store/cinema. The motel will be visible across the street, a little ways past the 광주세무소. You can find a decent map of the area from Naver here, although the motel doesn't appear on it. There are several other motels in that area, in case the Windmill is booked . . . please heed my advice about avoiding the nearby Pharoah (파라오모텔), though.

"You're not their friend, you're their teacher."

Here's an excellent post from "The Joshing Gnome." He brings up a point missed by too many foreign teachers:

You may think your kids love you because they give you ridiculous nicknames and climb all over you and are ‘cool’, but what they actually think is that you’re an ineffectual joke and that it’s fun to ridicule you.

And he closes with a top ten list of rules foreign teachers should follow in order to retain some self-respect and do their job to the fullest:

1. Don’t say “Assa!” anymore, because you sound like an idiot when you do.
2. Don’t take a ddongchim (finger playfully thrust up your ass) lying down.
3. Don’t let your kids give you dumb nicknames.
4. Don’t let anybody call you crazy in Korea.
5. Don’t call kids crazy and try to stand on some lame principle that “They should know how English is really spoken.” It only makes you sound like a pompous idiot.
6. If you’re bald, don’t let your kids touch your head.
7. If you’re fat, don’t let your kids touch your belly.
8. If you’re hairy, don’t let your kids rub your forearms.
9. Don’t tell your kids stupid lies about your home country. Don’t tell them that you’re an alien, even though it may be hilarious to them.
10. Never, ever hand over the power to punish your students to a Korean, whether it be your co-teacher or the owner of the school. You will soon find yourself completely powerless.

Check out the whole entry for some context and for a hypothetical situation that, sadly, probably happens way too much when you mix inexperienced teachers and bratty kids.

A huge part of teaching English, in my opinion, involves teaching students how to comport themselves when around foreigners. As I said in reaction to a video posted on ROK Drop of swarming middle students, Korean children---and sometimes adults---completely lose any sense of composure around a foreigner. The sight of a white person triggers a mocking "HELLO!" as a Pavlovian response, and if you ignore their call (as you should) you'll soon hear taunts that move closer toward their real opinion of you. They exhibit behavior they would never, ever imagine directing toward a Korean adult, let alone a Korean teacher. In my town last year students of all ages would follow me home, would try to open the windows of my apartment, would stand outside and shout my name, and would bang on the door. If any student would even think of doing this to a Korean teacher, the kid'd get beat like he owes somebody money. However, my colleagues allowed this to go on all year, and when I complained they told me that I ought to be friendly and open to my students. This school year, on a regular basis, students will yell at me from down the hall, will shout my name from upper-story windows, and will bang on the windows and doors just so I can see them wave at me. My coworkers were surprised when I taught my students not to do this, and protested that students were just being friendly. It's not uncommon for students to shout at me from passing vehicles, from windows, or from down the block, and when I ride the bus I've had students tap my shoulder and poke me after I ignored their first few dozen catcalls. Students have mocked me in restaurants and adults have followed me down the street. Again, no Korean in their right mind would treat another Korean adult this way, let alone encourage their children to do it. Extreme cases of disrespect don't happen all the time, but taunts, catcalls, and other impolite English does occur with enough frequency that I can safely attribute them to deeply ingrained attitudes toward foreigners and foreign teachers.



I've been sitting on an entry about this broad topic for a while, and I'll probably write it up sooner rather than later. Too many foreign teachers allow the zoo animal treatment, under the mistaken belief that it shows friendliness, or curiosity, or an eagerness to interact with foreigners. Too many foreign teachers permit their students to call them fat, or grab their arm hair, or point at their nose. I had a student once try to 똥침 me . . . with the end of a broom, and while I'm not going to write down how I punished him, suffice it to say there were witnesses, and such extremely inappropriate behavior toward me never happened again. Too many foreign teachers believe that, to effectively teach English, you need to be their friend and endure jokes, ribbing, and attitudes that would never fly with a Korean adult.

The problem is, too many Korean teachers think this "special" treatment is okay. Too many Korean teachers operate under the assumption that a foreigner needs to be a clown in the classroom, and that English class needs to be a riot in order to be effective. Oh, the Korean teachers' classes aren't fun, mind you, but because "students are so shy" foreigners are expected to act like overactive, overgrown children. I wonder where Koreans get such a warped view of foreign teachers?

Korean TOEFL scores: LMFAO.

Old news, but that chart appeared in a Korea Times article yesterday. I'll try not to be too negative here, but that's definitely something to keep in mind when you're scapegoated in the media, or when you're again faced with the myth of the Korean grammar expert. After all, Korean English teachers do most of the heavy lifting in the schools, and obviously aren't getting results. Native speakers' classes are suppressed in the schools in order to better prepare for the TOEFL exam, and foreign teachers are often chastized for not adapting to the "teach for tests" method . . . and after all that, South Korea places 107th out of 143 nations. We always hear about the difficulties in adapting methods of communicative language teaching to Korea, and about how hard it is to develop communicative competence in Asian students. But man, there's a lot more wrong here than just poor spoken English and shitty teachers.

It's fun to make fun, and nice to let off a little steam and redirect some hostility. One of the most ridiculous aspects of all this madness is that it's entirely self-contained. I mean, you have students taking TOEFL exams not to study abroad but to get into high school, to get into a domestic university, or to get an ordinary local job. Just seems absurd that nobody has been able to shut the machine down. Sounds kind of . . . sinister, and commie, but one of the best ways for your nation to avoid such embarassingly low test scores is to stop using the test. No reason to keep doing something you're not good at. That's why my 142-pound ass has never attended the NFL Scouting Combine, and to this day nobody has made fun of me for being a sucky defensive end.

At least reserve the TOEFL for people who will require a high degree of English. I really have no idea why it needs to be a nationwide indicator of intelligence, especially when the general population clearly isn't ready for it. That's just the thing, though . . . the test is used almost exclusively within Korea's own borders, whether to get a job at a top company or to get into a prominent Korean university that doesn't even register as mediocre on the world stage. Yeah, yeah, I know it's a matter of national pride, but amidst the new administration's rethinking of the English question, perhaps they should . . . rethink the English question. For as long as I've been following the messageboards and websites on Korea, I've seen foreigners urging Koreans to ask themselves the basic questions: "Why do we want to learn English?" and "What do we want to use English for?" That's a question I still don't see answered, and one that confounds me as I try to plan the best and most appropriate classes for my students. If you want to know what foreigners think and what we think about, Mr. Lim, how about starting right there.

Interesting bit of trivia because it's late and I'm bored. The text on the chalkboard behind the white guy in the KT article I quoted is the first paragraph of this letter to the editor that ran the same day.

Korea Times: What Do English Teachers Think?

Jason Lim wrote a column in the Korea Times and put together a survey to get to the bottom of this question. I didn't complete his survey---I doubt that something with "surveymonkey" in the title will influence policy---and it doesn't have any more significance than the scores of columns and letters on English education that have appeared in the KT in recent weeks. And, it's a self-serving, deadline-meeting gesture on the part of a guy who wrote a few months ago:

I still remember being chewed out by the president of the language institute I worked for 10 years ago because I hired a Korean American UCLA graduate who was far more qualified than one of those 'Let's travel through Asia while earning money as English teachers and score some women at the same time, dude!" types of instructors that were so prevalent in those days.

It doesn't really matter what native teachers think, and we are generally left out of the loop in school and in public policy. At my first private school Koreans designed the curriculum, chose the books, made the tests, appeared in the commercials, and got the performance bonuses. At my rural school district last year most of the English classes were taught by Korean teachers . . . entirely in Korean. The school was designated an "English research" school, though it didn't use a native speaker for classes, workshops, or editing. I wasn't even in the yearbook or mentioned on the school website. *frowny face* This year things go well enough, but I definitely don't have any role in the curriculum, the textbooks, or the test preparation, and as I see each class once every two or three weeks, I don't think I can really expect a larger role. I do wish I were on the school website, though. *frowny face* But in all seriousness, I think most 원어민 would agree that even in the best of situations and the most pleasant of schools they have a very reduced role and a limited influence on their classes. We're not considered real teachers, and even our titles are different: we're usually refered to as "native speaker" rather than English teacher.

When we talk about increased authority for native speakers in the world of English education here, we run up against a strong sense of pride among Korean teachers. I think that bars many of us from meaningful roles in the decision-making process. I guess in my more cynical moods I'd stick that under the umbrella of "Korea number 1" thinking. There's probably some truth to that, but it's probably better to say that the qualifications and credentials possessed by Korean teachers still trump our assets as native speakers. There have been many times when I've been asked for advice---when proofreading or editing or teaching---only to be disputed by Korean English teachers. A poster on waygook.org talks about the vigilant defense of incorrect test questions, for example, and I've been through similar battles. I also remember last year when, after editing posters of song lyrics translated into English, and after correcting all the errors, the teacher in charge protested my changes (in Korean), and went ahead and posted the incorrect versions. And there's still the belief that, when we're not outright unqualified, we are not adequately trained to be effective teachers.

I do concede that a lot of us have never been trained as teachers. What skills does a 22-year-old biology major bring to Korea, other than his/her status as a native speaker? It must seem bat-shit crazy for some Koreans to even consider the advice of people like this. Though I did study Asian history and culture in college, and did learn some Korean along the way, me and my B.A. in English (just English) weren't much better. We can acquire skills along the way, though, but you know what, from an administrative perspective it doesn't matter. Public schools do, initially, pay a little more for advanced-degree holders and experienced teachers, but those folks are still singing songs and playing CD-ROMs like the rest of us. A certified teacher might cause a principal to momentarily swell with pride during one of the many degree checks, but you can bet that teacher doesn't have any more say in how English is taught in his school than you, I, or the 22-year-old biologist. And that's without even getting into the intertia of Korea's test-taking culture that dictates how English is taught in the first place.

There was a letter to the editor in the KT a week ago from a middle school teacher in Namwon, that gives some suggestions on improving "communication ability." One suggestion is:

Thirdly, we need to give teachers incentives, such as the chance to attend oversea language workshops for more than one year, or studying at universities TESOL programs for two years, in order for them to teach entire classes in English, If possible, the education ministry must sponsor teachers voluntarily attending workshops.

As I wrote before, even without these hypotheticals, Korean English teachers have tons of opportunities for advanced study, from weekly workshops to intensive camps to overseas study. Why not make opportunities for professional advancement available to foreign teachers? It seems ridiculous, I'll grant, to ask the Korean government to sponser foreigners who may or may not have much personal investment in the country or in its schools. But, at least for me, I'd like to have something to show for my years in Korean public schools, something to make me valuable to my school and to future employers. I'd also like to see an organized evaluation system for foreign teachers here, one that takes into account not only years' experience but camps, contests, workshops, demonstration classes, extracurricular training, and language skills . . . all things for which Korean teachers are judged, organized, and rewarded. I'm not as concerned with money as some of my peers, and would be happy to stick around when the salaries flatline, but only if I had a stake in my school or my education board. And foreigners who have completed these programs might finally be seen as "qualified" in the eyes of the government and their colleagues.

Logic dictates that, if we're here on a visa, we're already qualified, since a visa presupposes a degree. (And so logic dictates that it's their own damn fault for hiring a 22-year-old biologist to teach TOEFL writing.) I've been through at least one major immigration crackdown, in December '05, that was supposed to tie up any loose ends and ensure that all loopholes had been closed. Evidentally I'm the only person who remembers that procedure, because we dealt with another moral panic this past fall.


Picture I took at the crackdown in December, 2005. It's blurry, but I swear it happened.

The rub is "qualified" has a couple of meanings for Koreans. One is "possessing adequate credentials," and in that sense everybody with a degree, a passport from an English-speaking country, and a visa is qualified. A lot of times you'll see "unqualified teachers" refering to those teaching without the proper paperwork. But you'll also see "unqualified" refering to those who don't demonstrate proper, professional behavior (must resist the urge . . . ), a strong work ethic (couldn't resist), or other intangibles (sorry). Now, I'm going naively hope that this latest crackdown will be another a "be all, end all" for teachers already in the country. But it seems like both sides are calling for a little more than that, and I'd like to see imported teachers given the same opportunity as their Korean colleagues and be allowed to beef up their qualifications. I don't see how that can be anything but a benefit to all involved.

That would also help create some semblance of organization among us, and establish some kind of leadership among our community and among, really, all English teachers. Contrary to Mr. Lim's article, there's no shortage of opinions from foreign English teachers. His paper's opinion page is full of about three new articles on it a day, and there are lots of messageboards filled with whines, complaints, questions, and opinions. Lim speaks of "high-ranking native English-speaking teachers," but there's no such thing. One would naturally want to put university professors at the top of the heap, but they're fraught with as much discrimination and profesional dissatisfaction as any of us. As it stands now the only foreign teachers anyone hears from are the ones with the biggest blogs.

Oh well, it's just one column on policies that aren't even in place yet on a subject as . . . subject to change as any. I realize we're a transitory population and that there aren't many places in this world where foreigners' opinions are welcome. My point has always been that it's my native culture I'm teaching, my native culture my colleagues and students are butchering, and my native culture they're dictating in their policies, so I want my voice heard. Now, not even I want to hear the opinions of a lot of foreigners here, so how do we separate the serious from the riff-raff? Well, as I said up there, I'd like to see an internal system for qualifying foreign teachers, one consistent nationwide. Right now the organizing principle is experience and the reward is money.

That's assuming people are actually serious about hearing our opinions. They really need to cut the stereotyping shit out. Even an Ohmynews interview with the foreigner who exposed an abusive daycare center in Itaewon couldn't go without saying:

If you look at Dave’s ESL Cafe there are some foreigners involved in child sexual abuse and drug crimes and so on so the Korean media doesn’t like it, but you hope that this will cause the media to change for the better.

And it's worth remembering that Lee Myung-bak's ideas don't involve bringing in more foreigners, but rather training Koreans to do their jobs in the first place better, so the influence of foreigners in the future oughtn't be overestimated. But, hey, with the throw spaghetti against the wall money at the mess approach, it's about the only thing that hasn't been tried yet. Given the ridiculously high ambitions and the shitty domestic teachers, why not give it a go?